Three minutes is an infinitesimal amount of time when a frozen meal is in the microwave. Those unendurable 180 seconds leave us humans not choice but to stand watch, absorbing micro-waves of radiation (hence the name, get it?), while doing a little jig reminiscent of a bad exercise workout VHS from 1992. There are two indisputable—fundamental truths, if you will—about humans: we like to consume and we don’t like to wait for said consumption. This is why so many humans spend years of their youth waiting for a soul mate—they want to be consumed by love. And then when they find that love, they can’t wait to get married, because they want to be consumed by vows of forever. And then they can’t wait to have children, because they want to consume the idea of a legacy. But then they want their children to hurry up and grow up, because they want to consume restful nights and silence. Then their kids leave home, and they desire to consume noise once more. And on and on it goes—until the microwave goes finally dings in that brief moment when they look away. The food is ready: eat it now before it gets cold.