I scrubbed my hands in the bathroom sink until they physically hurt from the scalding water. I had to make sure they were clean. Nobody could know what I had just done. It was so impulsive and out of character for me.

Let me backtrack a little and explain myself. My name is Myra Grey, and I'm a nineteen-year-old college student at Primrose University in Stonewall, Pennsylvania. I'm a fantastic student, very into my studies. I'm going to be a journalist. That was always the plan, at least. Sometimes life takes a different turn from what we wanted, and that's exactly what happened here. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I wasn't supposed to be like this.

About two months into my second year of college I met this guy, Jeremy Duchamp. Normally guys weren't typically on my radar, but something about this particular one sparked my curiosity. He was on the school newspaper, a job I had been trying to score since freshman year with no success. I started out thinking that if I can get in good with Jeremy, maybe he could help me get on with the paper. I couldn't have been more wrong.

Our relationship began strictly platonic, with a coffee here and there, study sessions, and things like that. Eventually, it became so much more than I could have expected. We started spending all of our time outside of classes together, but I still hadn't secured a spot on the newspaper team.

Every time I would bring it up in conversation, Jeremy would brush it off saying he was doing all he could, and I simply needed to be patient and it would come in time. It seemed to me though that he didn't want to share the newspaper with me. Jeremy was an amazing writer, but so was I. It wasn't like I wanted to steal his job, I just desperately wanted to be a part of that fast-paced world.

Months went by and still no luck or help from Jeremy. I was growing cold toward him and began to resent and even hate him for not allowing me this opportunity. All my rationality went out the window and I started seeing red. I don't even know why this made me so upset, but it did, and Jeremy didn't even seem to care.

I decided to take matters into my own hands and walk right up to the editor of the newspaper and demand a job. I didn't tell Jeremy my plan because I knew he would object. I marched down the hall to the newspaper room and barged right through the door. Instantly I was frozen with horror at what I saw. Jeremy was there alright, and he was with another girl. The way they were acting was no place for a news room. They should have been in a damn hotel bed. I felt rage course through my veins as I hurried out the door before they saw me. That was why Jeremy didn't want me to be on the newspaper with him. How could he cheat on me if I was right there? I felt so betrayed and hurt.

I didn't confront him right away. He deserved so much worse than just having me hate him. He needed to suffer for what he had done. I made a plan for how I would proceed. I told him I had a surprise for him and wanted to tell him over a nice, quiet dinner at a cabin my parents owned. This cabin was perfect, right by a huge lake, with no neighbors, totally secluded put in the middle of nowhere. Stupidly, he agreed and we set up a date and time. I went on with my routine like nothing was wrong and patiently waited for the time to come.

Finally, the time was here. I gave him directions and told him I would head up to the cabin a few hours early to make sure everything was set up and ready for his arrival. Once at the cabin, I knew I had a short time to prepare. This would be my only shot, it had to be perfect. I carefully got everything I needed prepared and checked the clock, Jeremy should be here any moment.

I heard a car engine and saw headlights through the window. He was finally here, and I was ready. The longer I had sat in solitude at the cabin the more time I had to think about what Jeremy had done and how pissed off I actually was at him. I opened the door and let him inside as he complained about the cold and how shitty the drive was. I told him not to worry, he was here now and soon he wouldn't be thinking about the drive.

Before we are I told him I had a surprise for him in the basement that I thought he would really enjoy, poor idiot probably thought I was going to have sex with him or something. He agreed and I motioned for him to lead the way. Once I had him at the bottom of the staircase, I picked up a decently sized brick and smashed it across the back of his head. He gasped before falling to the floor. I didn't waste any time, I jumped on top of him and continued hitting him with the brick until his face was unrecognizable. It was almost like I was watching myself with no control. I couldn't stop. I didn't want to stop.

After some time, I managed to collect myself and realized what I had done. I just killed someone. I planned and plotted and murdered another human being. I stood over Jeremy’s lifeless body when I noticed I was covered in his blood. There was so much blood. I don't think I had ever seen that much blood in my life. I just stood there, I didn't know what to do. I had this body and I couldn't just leave him here. Nobody could know what just happened.

I spent the next hour pacing back and forth upstairs trying to come up with a solution to my new problem. I finally decided I should probably start with cleaning myself up. I went into the bathroom and began scrubbing my hands under the hot water from the sink. Then I splashed some water on my face and tried to make sure all the blood was off my skin. After that, I went into the bedroom and found some clean clothes, and changed. Now I just had to figure out what to do about Jeremy’s dead body.

I glanced out the window to make sure there were no signs of anybody else being up this way. Stupid, considering there was never anybody up this way, but after murdering someone I guess paranoia sets in. That's how people generally get caught, at least that's what I'm telling myself. That's when I noticed it, the lake. It was perfect! I would drag Jeremy’s body out of the basement and down to the lake, throw him in and that would be that. Nobody was ever at this cabin or on the lake so they would never find his body, and if by some freak chance they did, enough time will have passed that he would be unrecognizable.

I made my way back down to the basement and grabbed Jeremy by his feet, I struggled a bit, but managed to get him outside. It was around two in the morning at this point, so I was surrounded by darkness. I dragged his lifeless body down to the dock. I realized I need his body to be heavy so he wouldn't float so I looked around the dock and found a few cinder blocks, pushed his arms and legs through, and carefully pushed him into the water. He sank almost immediately and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I hurried back to the cabin and grabbed some cleaning supplies and scrubbed the basement trying to remove all the blood. I had class the next morning so I needed to get back to school soon to keep up appearances. Thankfully nobody knew I had been seeing Jeremy so I wouldn't have to deal with all the questions about his sudden disappearance and I could just go about my business as usual.

I arrived back at school just in time for my first class of the day. I was beyond exhausted and in desperate need of a shower. I had just enough time after this class to go to my room and shower and take a nap before I had to be at my next class. As I was heading to my room I had the realization that someone would be wondering what had happened to Jeremy. The girl he was cheating with. He had to have told her about me and where he was going. I knew what I had to do. I wonder if she had ever been to a cabin by the lake?

I don't regret doing what I did. He deserved it, and besides, if he wasn't going to love me, he wasn't going to love anyone.