WRITING OBSTACLE
Crackle. Pond. Night.
Write a description of a person or creature inspired by these three words. You may be as fantastical or realistic as you like. The words may inspire the description, or be used within it.
WRITING OBSTACLE
Crackle. Pond. Night.
Write a description of a person or creature inspired by these three words. You may be as fantastical or realistic as you like. The words may inspire the description, or be used within it.
First off, great title. Really drew me in! Also, great concept. This is something I’d never think of, almost like a passive polite zombie situation, and I think it really works.
As for pace, I think your pace really gets good at “Death has a habit of changing our priorities.” It would’ve made for a killer opening line. Starting off with a slower action (the sun baking mud - which can take hours) drags you a bit. I imagine you brought death up here so that it would be a surprise after that intro. Your title does a good job counteracting this though. As a reader I think “it says she’s dead but the title suggests…more?” and I want to keep reading.
Great job on character development. I get the sense that this protagonist is empathetic and a bit defeated, but with more story down the line, I think this might be the kind of thinking she’ll overcome. Thanks for writing!