If desire were a flame then I'm a wildfire.

Is what I think watching him, watching his body move in a way that ignites my soul from within, my fingers curl, resisting the urge to be on his willing my hands to stay put.

He turns to me grinning as he moves, his body moving to the music as if electrified.

“Come on dance with me” he whines, bringing his hands out, his body moving on its own accord, he looks so pure and happy, my heart aches, it aches to be with him, it aches so much.

“Why is the music so loud” I turn my head, the door previously closed now open, a figure standing just out of sight,

“I told you to put the music down didn't I” The figure enters the room more as I take them in.

“Shit..mom sorry, I was just with-” They turn my way but I'm not there, I'm gone, I've been gone for a while now.

“Wa-, they uh” they comb through their hair,

oh, my heart aches.

“Just keep the music down, it's giving me a headache” The door slams shut, like a bullet, the music dies down, and the room becomes duller,

smaller,

sad,

…and lonely.

He sits on his bed, music long forgotten as he looks around, looking for something, looking for….me?

“I feel like I'm going crazy” he drops on the bed covering his face as he screams, banging on his head.

I wanna comfort him, caress his face like I always used to but I'm bound here, unable to do anything but watch, stare as the time passes, days go by, weathers change. He sees me from time to time almost like a dream, a haze, a memory, but it's not enough. I wanna consume him like a flame, ignite in his body as I take every little thing, but I can’t

If desire were a flame my flames would have long gone up.