As I type, my brain becomes numb and no matter what letter my finger touches on this keyboard, I can’t think of the next thing I need to say.

I freeze up, body stuck in time while everything around me starts to slow down. I feel something strange happening like the ground below my heavy feet is disappearing one block at a time.

Never have I ever felt this pressure before to type a text message…questions start to fly around me, who do I send it to? What do I say? Will I get a response?

I hear a mumble in the background, it gets louder with every breath I take…

“JUST GET ON WITH IT!”

I finally hear those words that I’ve needed to hear that has felt like an eternity but has only been a few minutes of my life…

I feel the rush in my fingers quickly typing the message, I scroll down my contact list and find the person I have to send this to….my wife, my beautiful wife. What will she think? How will she react?

Again I see the questions fly around me one by one. I start to shiver and feel anxious, scared if and what my wife will say back to me.

I pressed send…it’s gone and I feel a huge relief has risen off my shoulders.

I get a response back immediately that’s says

“It’s ok, I’ve done all the checks after you and everything is locked. You can carry with work now, I’ll see you tonight x”

My heart stops beating furiously, my feet become lighter and I feel a tear come down from my right eye.

I apologise continuously to my manager whom was there the whole time I was having a panic attack.

I don’t know what set it off or how I got in to this situation but here I was and here I am.

My manager said to me… if you feel like this again just get on with it, I will be here waiting at the end to support you with what you need.