I fucking hate this game. We just started playing it; I don’t understand it, and it just… it just sucks. I'm not too fond of it. I wonder what the hell I ate to make my stomach rumble like this.

I think Kyo told me that it was called Go, or Yogo, or Goyo. Some shit like that. I believe that the only reason he likes it is that he is the only person outside of Asia that knows how to play it. He gave me brief instruction on how to play and a thirty-minute lecture on the history, all of which I phased out being distracted while I was thinking of things I would rather be doing. I randomly place a stone on the board and sit back with a concentrated look on my face to give him the impression that I am putting in some effort. My stomach rumbles with a small deposit into my colon.

“Kyo, what’s the name of this game again?” I ask with cringing hesitation, preparing myself for a scolding.

“Mike, once again, the game is called ‘Go,’ yo.” Scolding, but short and salty. He places a stone on the board that looks more random than strategic.

“Goyo. Right. I never brag about my…” I place another random piece on another random spot.

“No, bro! It’s called ‘GO’!” he says, a bit saltier. Let’s see if I can trigger the steam. He aggressively places another piece on the board.

“Sorry, ‘GO,’ right. Got it.” I put less effort into placing a piece at the far corner. “‘GO,’ the board game of golden peasants and British royalty,” I say while masking the smile, but I know he knows me too well to take it seriously or that I would take anything like this seriously.

“You’re a dick, Mike,” he says with a smirk to acknowledge my jocularity as he places another piece on the board. “Your move, dick.”

I get up, go around the table, lightly scratch the top of his head, turn around and walk out of the room to the bathroom. My move is to take a productive shit in a bathroom that is not mine because, upon further contemplation, I would instead do anything other than play that game.

I hear him scream from the dining room, “Mike, hurry up, bro! It’s still your move!”