House Call

"Hey put that down, you’re going to break it!" I shouted at Will and Ron. My brothers could be such buggers at times. They were throwing around one of my Tim Burton collective ghastly toys for boys and girls. Could you believe that?

"Cool it twip, it won't break." Responded Will. Ron just sat there on my bed giggling. "C'mon, you know we love you, now come here for a bear hug." Ron insisted.

I do like getting bear hugs from them and they know it, so whenever they mess around in my room they know the only way to win me over is with a bear hug.

Thing is, I get double the bear hugs. Ron hugs me tightly then Will hugs us both. Oh boy does it feel snug in there, then one of them would break wind and spoil the entire bloody moment.


My brothers are older than I. Ron is 17 and Will is 18. I on the other hand am 14. It's cool having older brothers. In I go for the bear hug, then Will starts rubbing my head and messing up my hair, it always looks like a mop when he's done rubbing my head. Mother's out in the kitchen, I think she's making those blueberry scones I love. Boy if you have ever tasted my mothers' blueberry scones you would definitely want to move in with us. Probably that's why Will and Ron haven't bothered moving out as yet.


They can make good grilled cheese sandwiches. Will puts oregano and a slash of Tabasco jalapeño sauce inside the sandwich on the cheese before he grills it. "My secret ingredient." He always gloats, but I know it's just oregano and the Tabasco sauce. I just let him enjoy his pride in making good grill cheese sandwiches. Ron boasts that his are better, because of his secret ingredient which is just chilli cheese, so it's a chilli cheese melt. One each of these sandwiches and a packet of salt and vinegar crisps, a pickled egg, and iced tea would have you swirling in a psychedelic whirlpool of flavour.


So far all I could make is a good sandwich. With lettuce, red onions, provolone cheese, mustard and Hermanns mayonnaise. Goes really well together with barbecue crisps. Sometimes I mess it up, but still they give me a high five on making a good sandwich. Don't ask how I mess a sandwich up, I just do sometimes. Sometimes I put more mustard than Mayo, and I just mess it up alright? I just need more practice. They give me thumbs up every time I make a sandwich, even when my eyes water from adding too many onions in it. Guess that's what families do. Support the heck out of you I reckon.


We three could be much of a stress on mother as we're always horsing around. I don't know how many times mother has had to replace a vase or fix a hole in the bedroom wall. Funny thing is, we're always horsing around in my bedroom. Why the hell don't we ever horse around in their room? They have a wicked room. Though they're men and are as tall as trees they still have a double bunk bed in their room. They like the double bunk bed.

Couple of summers ago they both worked down at the harbour cleaning those tour boats that take tourists out on the river around the city centre and bought a big screen tv, and a music docking station for their iPods.


They even managed to buy a PlayStation gaming console with the money they got from our Nan on Christmas. They were actually supposed to buy jumpers with that money. Now I get to use the other PlayStation all by myself, and play what I want. Regularly we all play together. Whenever they're not so secretive about their chats I sleep over in their room in the mummy sleeping sack I use whenever we all go camping. We do have a good time camping. We get to fish and make s'mores. Us three just led there by the campfire looking up at the stars, and chatting the night away is a feeling I always want to have.


Will teases Ron about this girl who works down at the Angel berry frozen yoghurt café. Her name is Nan, yes Nan like how you and I would call our grandmothers Nan. Crazy name huh? She always gives Ron extra sprinkles on his frozen yoghurt whenever she's on shift. Wills' theory is that she has a crush on Ron. Mother always tell her book club friends that one day some lucky girls would snap up her two strapping young men. She always have some fantasy for us and our lives, except for when she threatens murder in the household if we ever break another vase or make another hole in the wall from our horsing around. I swear her eyes turn black with anger when she's crossed with us. Unfortunately the bear hugs we all give her when she's crossed works on occasion. Guess she can't always be fooled huh? Oh those bear hugs. They're good.


Mother insists we all sit down at the table for supper so we could enjoy a meal as a family. If you ask me, she just wants to hear the gossip we share with her from my school and the college Will and Ron attends. I tell her what she needs to know. After all she doesn't need to know that I run off down the shops with Kevin and Julie during lunch, and play arcade games, sometimes even window shop at the Topman and Next stores. I'm pretty sure Will and Ron don't tell her everything either. Like that one time Will slept through his lecture on cognitive dissonance, and Ron failed to turn in his paper on time for his physics class.


We men have to stick together, and hide our naughty short comings from mother otherwise the coppers would take her away for really committing murder in the household. She's an executive assistant to one of the members of the board of directors at the firm where she works. I think they do PR marketing or something like that. Sometimes I imagine waves washing up on a beach when I hear her talking about some “Patty” woman at work. I think mother wants to beat her with a stapler because she always poaches her smoothies from the fridge at the office. Apparently this "Patty" makes it a habit poaching food that doesn't belong to her from the fridge. I think mother wants to organise a lynching mob or whatever to deal with her.


"Oi, let's go..." What was Will saying? Ron is also talking, but I can no longer hear what he says. I look over to mother, and she's somewhat fading. I stretch my hand out. "Please don't go, please don't go, please don't go !!!" I repeatedly pleaded. I continued shouting, I turn my head. It's the wall with my Punisher poster on it. I'm in my flat, the words I continue saying, this time in a whisper. I look up to my ceiling, I see my Dark Knight Rises poster.


I turn on my side and checked the time on my iPhone.

Shit. It's 10:25 am.

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