I should be happy. I should. I don’t understand why but I can’t. Truly.

Vacation has always been hard on me.

Resting.

Doing nothing.

Thinking.

Yes, that might be it. I don’t like to think. Because thinking links to remembering. And memories are painful.

So, no. I won’t enjoy my holidays. I won’t. I can’t. I’ll try to work, or do anything else. I’ll bust myself the best I can. Because this is a place she would have enjoyed. And that, I can’t think about.