My childhood dreams were something like a nightmare

I was stuck in the endless loop of nothingness

And meaningless

Taking care of the people

That were supposed to be taking care of me

Beer bottles and sweaty must

Sticky fingers and microwaved macaroni and cheese

Growing up before I had a chance to live

So my dreams were feverish

I desired singularity and peace at heart

But knew it would only come

At the age of adulthood

Though it seemed like adulthood

Was nothing more than everyday life

Like a clock that comes back around and around and around every twelve hours

As though the last twelve never happened

I didn’t dream of a career

It was impossible when I saw that careers would only land you on a couch

Laid off

No money, no dreams

Dreams were far off and impossible

My fingertips were stretched too thin

Reaching for something that wasn’t there

I used to think dreams couldn’t come true

But it comes soft like romantic realness

And purity in a heart

You can’t fake the reality that became a dream from a broken childhood

Until it falls as fast as it arrived

Careers that landed me on the couch

Laid off

No money, no dreams

This was the dream you forgot moments after waking up

Because you realized all too fast how utterly unreal it was

Just a dream

From a broken childhood

A broken childhood can be healed

But this one wasn’t

I landed on the couch

And the cycle continued

Like a second hand going around every sixty ticks

As though the last sixty never happened