“Fucking pigeons. You’d think they’d be back by now.” Nicholai scoffed as he took a long drag from his rolled cigar. Puffs of smoke polluting the crisp Boston air.

I remained silent and rolled my eyes. I couldn’t bare much more negativity even if I shared his sentiment. Worry mixed with hunger grumbled inside me. Empty cans of beans and corn lay scattered on the rooftop and the sight of them only made the hunger grow.

I stood up and began to clean up the litter, hoping if they were out of the picture I could push the starvation away. Even if it’s been days. Maybe 4, maybe 7. Who even knows.

“Here let me help, Nutmeg.” James said leaning down, meeting my eyes. If he looked closely he could probably see the pain he causes me when he says that name.

“Please don’t call me that.” I say just above a whisper and continue collecting cans.

“But it’s cute.” He responds.

“And it’s also what my dad called me, which you knew.” I spit back, not being so quiet this time.

Nicholai perked up from his lawn chair and let out a bastardly laugh.

“Yeah man, don’t ya know her pops is like the rest of those munchers down there now?” He shouted with no remorse. My eye twitched. Keep your cool Meghan, keep your cool.

“Fuck off, Nic.” James growled back at him and returned to me. “I’m sorry Meghan. I wasn’t thinking..”

Guilt grew like a terrible wild fire when I saw the embarrassment on his face. I knew he meant well but the topic was too fresh. If it wasn’t for me, my dad would still be alive living his best life photographing penguins and shit in Antarctica but no, he came back to Boston when the pandemic started. To keep ME safe and I couldn’t even do the same for him.

Hell, I couldn’t even honor his only plea and kill him before he turned into a monster like the rest of the city. I just ran-and now I’m stuck on this rooftop waiting for pigeons that probably will never come back with an answer to our SOS. Stuck with an ornery cab driver who itches his crotch every 5 seconds and an ex boyfriend who just couldn’t let me die in peace.