Watching my hands shaking as if it was winter, freezes my vision. Each day death scenes cross my mind. And i remember…

that wasn’t my line. I wake up with flooded eyes. I walk on my floor and randonly fall back. i can’t seem to stand back up. When my friend stella invites me to get coffee, she asks where my hopeful smile went. And i… just want to die.

it seems like i’m telling part two of my story. But everyone else says, “it’s barely starting.” come on, i’m a 21 year old who has experienced unrealistic things. And you’re telling me it’s the beginning? those people don’t even know my real identity. they know how i look, but not who i am. I commited crimes i wasn’t aware of until now. my purpose was freedom, but i changed my role. the lines i would say, the looks i would give, the laughs i would overreact. the physical movements i made. The love i felt and didn’t care.

And he, he created all my safe and happy moments. Each day an “I love you”, each night an “i’ll miss you.” I loved him but realized too late. i just felt a sort of a, “stop feeling that.” it was weird and i hated him with my whole heart. So much that it turned Into love. Whenever we weren’t together, I talked behind his back. Oh wait, in front of his face as well. that day he planned to take me to hawaii, and I ruined it for him. his whole life. Not knowing i was gonna ruin mine. It was a Friday around 7:00. got ready to go out with him.

When we got in the car, he smiled. his eyes were full of his amazing spark. “hi bobo (fool) i said smiiling at him while getting inside the car. Andrew laughed and responded, hi bubushci. (random phrase he invented.) “stop calling me that, i have a name.” i gently pushed him with my fist, turned around and put my seatbelt on. ok ok “PRI-CI-LA, I have a surprise for you”. Of course I was happy. really? what is it, a ring?? i got close to his face and laughed again. “Show me, what is it??” He reached into his pocket and looked back at me with his hand still in there. "don’t cheat, don’t look.” he slowly looked back down giving me a side eye. “OMG andrewwww!! hurry up, you take so long.” i kicked him even though i was in my seat. "awwwouuu” andrew started patting his arm as if he was acually in pain. well, i did kick him hard.

"your such a fool, cry baby. always acting like a gentle flower.” he gave me a look." “ok fine, here this is what i wanted to show you.” i snatched the mini ractangle papers out of his hand. "whaaat!! no way andrew!!

“We’re going to Hawaii!!” he said forgeting about the pain in his arm or anything else. “Whaaaat!! You bought these?” I was excited at the moment, smiling. not of what he did, but because of the fact i was going to visit Hawaii. “Well, actually” he said, “it was a prize I won for two people. i didn’t pay a single dollar” He looked at me very happy, feeling proud like saying, it turned out way better. And now that I think about it, of course it was. But regardless, That’s when my smile faded away. Even though I wasn’t excited because it was a gesture from him, I still thought, “wait, so he didn’t think about taking me, he just had no choice.”

“wow, so you just want me to go because according to you it’s not an option?

stop making it look exciting and just admit you do everything for compromise! this is why you’re useless.

You don’t know how to do anything! you’re fake Andrew!! FAKE!!

I grabbed the two tickets and with anger ripped them into pieces. then i threw them to his face and said, “USELESS” i got out of the car and yelled, “play your little manipulative games with your dog.” i saw his eyes were full of water and his lips started to shake. He was so shocked that i even stood there to see what he would say next, but all he did was stare right at my eyes and said, “p-priclia, i just wanted to give you a nice trip since i found the opportunity to take you out somewhere better.” “shut. up. you don’t even try to find a better job than that nasty construction thing you do.” i turned around and started speed walking back into my house. "Pricila!!”

that night, i expected a messege from him. Everytime we got in a fight, he would send me a long paragraph telling me how much he was sorry if he unintentionally hurt my feelings. He would send gifts to my adress, and songs to my number. But not a single ding i herad. i couldnt sleep. I was thinking so many things. I knew i was the manipulatiuve one and not him. for the first time i felt bad for him so tears ran down my cheeks into the blankets. "why would i hurt someonw like him that way.” But my ego was to high that i cleaned my tears and tried to sleep. But i couldn’t. The image of his eyes looking at mine were taking over me. i started thinking what my life would be without him. and i couldn’t believe i started to notice how much i loved him.

"I hate him” i said The next morning when i was making breakfast. then the first ding of the day decided to appear. his mom was calling me. I ignored the call and kept making my coffee. She called me and called me and called me. In the fifth call, i had to answer. “Hello, is everything okay?” instantly my body tunrned into a flooded city. my heart started beating too fast my soul got tired and i was too dizy to even hear the next sentences she was saying. “IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!! THIS IS WHY I HATE YOU!. YOU FRICKING MANIPULATIVE WOMAN!” Andrew’s mom was screaming into the phone trying not to cry. i hung up and pressed on my chest with my hand. while running to get my car keys, i started crying like never before. like a little kid when they don’t get what they want.

“i’m sorry andrew, i’m so so sorry!” i was shaking trying to open up my car door. They keys fell and i screamed, “ahhhhhhh whyyy!!” i finally got in the car and in an instant was already driving three blocks away from my house. "HOW DID THAT HAPPEN ANDREW!! WHYYYY!!” The next part, i do not know. I woke up three months ago from a two year coma. Apparently i didn’t make the stop, and a truck crashed me. i Just remeber my last last words were, “I DO LOVE YOU!! i hit the steering wheel with both my hands and accidentaly beeped. i made a pause, stopped crying for a second and whispered saying, “I was just joking.”

after knowing the whole story, i can’t seem to get over it. It was all me. the toxic manipulative annoying girlfriend. And i’ll say i wasn’t actually like that. But sometimes we take advantage of the best people. The nicest, the ones who most love us. I always thought he agreed with everything. And he did. But i also thought i was gonna make him my way. ok, i did. it’s just that he was so confused, the relationship turned into a tragic story. that day i was out of breath i didn’t even notice the truck coming towards me. when i woke up they told me that if i handn’t beeped, i would be dead. The truck heard the beep and tried to step on the brake. Unfortunately it hit me, but not as hard as it was going to do so.

His sister told me everything. She cried with hate in her eyes towards me. And i will say what exactly happened.

After i left back into my house, he stayed in the car, crying nonstop for 20 minutes. He decided that what i was doing was too much. I had reached the limit. The tickets he got as a prize for us was actually planed. In the first place, he would only take me out to food trucks , the park, ice-cream places, or to each others houses. His job wasn’t very professional because he was still in college and also his family didn’t really have money. I was 19 in college and he was 20 years old. my family is wealthier than his but i never took him out because my dumb self always said boys should be the ones taking girls out, and buying everything for us. Even though he didn’t have much money, he would always try to make me happy by buying me gifts. And many times i wouldn’t like them and just give them back or throw them away. I would always ask for favors. The last favor he did for me was sacrifice.

It turns out that months earlier, Andrew had seen an oportunity to win free travel tickets. All he had to do was sign up and try out for what they asked him to do. The sign he read was at a fair and it said, “Sign up now before April 18, and meet us here on April 27 to win free tickets to your favorite place!” Andrew oviously did what he was told as always. When he got there that day, there were a few other people also waiting for instructions. When they called Andrew’s name up, they sort of interviewed him and made him sign a paper that said he would do everthing they told him to. In order to win the tickets, he had to complete the tasks they gave him. The more tickets he wanted, the more complicated the tasks were. According to Andrew he thought about not entering because the game looked kind of suspicious.

This seems like a regular tragic story, but it gets more into the exagerating movie part. The players recieved a challenge once a week and had to turn in the evidence each time they went. Andrew’s first task was to kill a spider and bring it in. Then it was more like, cut a piece of your brother’s hair. Until it became more of a record yourself yelling at the cashier in the store. Of cource it was something dumb for andrew to do. But my dream since i was a girl was always to go to hawaii. He would always tell me that the first person i was gonna go with was him. And that he was gonna take me. So from this, we know the place Andrew chose was hawaii. The last task they gave him was almost impossible to complete. Andrew had gotten into a group of people who did some illegal stuff.

Andrew decided to quit the game by not completing the last task they gave him. The next week, he didn’t show up to the weekly meeting. And since he had signed that paper that said, “i will complete every asigned task no matter what”, they couldn’t let him leave without giving them what they wanted. It turns out that they got his information and started spying on him. 5 days before that friday night, two of those people went to where he was working at and followed him towards the back were no one went except to check if the cables were right or something.

Andrew got scared when he saw them right behind him and said, “hey, um, why are you guys here?” the two guys responded, “look, you signed a contract, you keep the promise.” Andrew started stepping back and he tried to walk away. "hey!! come back here, or else we’ll kill your girlfriend.” Andrew stopped walking and turned around. "how do you guys know i have a girlfriend?” the two guys looked at each other. One of them got his pocket knife out, slowly stepped forward and said, “ha, you really don’t have a clue of where you put yourself in.” "hey, put that away please, i don’t want to make this a problem.”

“If you don’t want this to end bad, give us what we asked for. i want everything in two days. If not, we’ll see what to do with what you love.” Andrew was so shocked and scared, but was brave enough to say, “you know i can just call the police, give them the number, place where you work, and your names right?” The guys started laughing hard, “ahhahahaha, try it.” they two guys turned around and left. Andrew quiclky locked himself in the bathroom and called the cops. The information he gave them, according to the cops, it was wrong. The number was a food truck company. The place never existed and no buisness could be made there. They couldn’t find other people who also joined the group. Andrew had to do what they told him to, but he couldn’t. He actually never did it. When Andew tried going to the page were he signed up, it was never there.

“how am i gonna pay them? i don’t even know where they live or how to get to them.” The next day, he recieved a message that said, “meet us tomorrow at 9:00pm at lawnmake park.” So Andrew screenshoted the message and once again showed the police. They said that wasn’t any proof. Andrew responded saying, “you’ll see if your there at 9:00pm tomorrow.” He made an agreement both with the guys and the police and the next day he arrived to where he was told. They guys appeared, and he saw they had a gun in his pocket. Andrew decided not to panic and handed them the suitcase, also showing them the video on how he stole it, and how he mocked the school in public.

The police were actually there hidden. “ok, here are your tickets. You see it wasn’t that hard?” they threw the tickets at him and left. That’s when the police turned their lights on and started following the two guys. It was all planned out. The police helped him pretend he had done all those stuff to see if he was lying or not. Andrew was happy because he had the tickets. He forgot about everything because he knew he did it for his girlfriend. Three days later is when he decided to tell me. When i ripped the tickets was when he decided i had reached the limit. He called his siter that same night and told her everything. "i wan to break up with her emma.” “OMG Andrew!!! how did i not know about this, you’ve been doing this for 4 months!?. Your oviously too dumb by not noticing how she was treating you before.” Apparently, Andrew went home that day and decided not to text me anymore.

The next morning, Andrew got up at 4:30am to go to work as always. Feeling broken and tired. At 5:30 he left for work, and never went back home. Andrew’s mom recieved a call at around 9:30am saying that Andrew had been beaten, stabbed, and sadly shot. The thing is, the people who called his mom, where the same people who killed my boyfriend. She asked them why they had done what they did. And they responded. “i’ll say this to sumarize everything. your son told the cops on my friends, we told him to join us and he wouldn’t die this day or anytime soon. but with one condition. He would have to prank his girlfriend and bring her to us. what were we gonna do to her? probably the same thing we did to him, except it would take longer and no one will know he brought her to us. That way, we would get the money your son didn’t want to pay, through his girlfriend. plus, we chose his girlfriend over anyone, because your son decided to work for us just to take his girlfriend on a dumb trip. His mom of cource was crying and screaming, knowing that her son sacrificed his life to save mine. And she cried with extra anger because he took that decision, after all i did.

She was brave enough to stop crying for a second and ask, “answer, what did my son respond to your options?! ah, what did my boy answerrr!!” they stayed silent for one second and said, “ok, your son…

well he smiled at us and confidently responded, “I have never, and will never, betray the person i most love. No matter how rude she can get, or how many times she has hurt me. i still love her with all my heart, soul, mind, and body. I would do anything for her. I meant it when I said it. Let’s see if after this, she understands what she feels as well. But, please call my mother before anyone else and tell her to let Pricila, my bubushci know, i’ve been breathing thanks to her.”

Andrew’s mom just instantly hung up and couldn’t stop screaming, yelling his name over and over. Thinking that it was all my fault. That’s when she decide to call me.

And she was right. He sacrificed his life to save mine…after all i did.

And I would do anything to sacrifice mine so he can come back to life.