I’m drowning in the shallow end of a pool, belly down, submerged in one foot of water. There’s a ladder in front of me, plastic grazing my fingertips. I could grab it if I wanted to. I could pull myself out. There’s no force keeping me here. I don’t need to drown. This is all easily preventable, if I could just stretch my arm a little more.

Most people don’t give up till they get lost in the ocean waves.

I live life through a plane of glass. Just outside is the blinding light of the sun, vibrant colors everywhere I look. There are people going about their daily lives, interacting with others, running errands. I want that too. The glass is easy to break, all it needs is a little push and-

My arms refuse to move. There are people talking in front of me, their words muffled. I cover my eyes before I could read their lips.

I’m trapped in a tower of my own making, captive in an unlocked cage. I can escape at any time, all I need to do is walk out. But everytime I try, all I do is shrink back further and further into the comfortable darkness.

Some days are better than others. I’ll regain feeling in my limbs, I’ll take a step towards the door. Sometimes I can force myself to pretend.

But every now and again I curl back up, crawl back in. My legs won’t work, my heart will sink. Days when I can barely get out of bed.