(This is not the prompt! Just telling you! Well kinda the prompt)

🫛 The Princess & The Poor Pea 🫛

Hello fellow readers, I’m guessing that you picked up this book because you wanted to know why this pea was, well, poor. So without further delay let the real story of The Princess & The Pea begin.

Once upon a time, in a far away kingdom, there was a pea, not big, not small, just right. It was sitting in the pantry, waiting for the day it would be eaten, until… “Creak!” A slip of sunlight peeked through, slowly getting bigger and bigger, it was beaconing the pea, saying “Hello little pea, your time has come,” The pea brightened up, a joyous smile creeping up his pale green face.

“Choose me, choose me,” thought the pea even though it knew that wouldn’t help its chances,”I’m the perfect pea!” And as if the greenly pea gods heard it, rough, leathery fingers slid around him, taking a few other peas with it. Bright sunlight hit the pea, taking him back to when he was first squeezed out of his pod, the same happiness and curiosity surged through him. The hand hovered above the steaming pot, and one by one the peas were plopped into the metal haven, and when his turn came, an arrogant voice boomed across the kitchen, “ Mary, hand me a single uncooked pea please!” The looming figure turned around, stepping slowly towards the place the voice came from. As the figure got closer, the pea saw a well dressed woman, but the pea didn’t care about that, the only thought that was lingering in his mind was that the pot was only getting further and further away.

* * *

After what seemed like an eternity, the pea awoke to…a soft silk mattress? “Where am I?” thought the pea “It's so tight in here” the pea was truly stuck, groaning and moaning as more and more mattresses were stacked on top of it, the pea knew that it wasn’t going to peaven. He was being punished for whatever sin he did! And as he was trying to remember what he did, something, no a few things walked in ,their steps echoing through the vast room. The pea struggled turning around to at least glimpse the humans talking, and after trying a few times he managed to see three people. One was the arrogant woman, one was a fine looking young man and… the pea froze, putting all his attention on the most beautiful maiden he’d ever seen. Her sweet, angelic voice danced across the room finding its way into his ears ``Oh, is that where I’m sleeping tonight,” the maiden questioned the older woman, “Yes dear, I’m sorry if it doesn’t fit your standards I guess we did all that for nothing.” the woman answered in a woeful tone.

“ No, no I appreciate this, it would be a pleasure to sleep in such a luxurious bed!” the maiden exclaimed. A smug grin spread like wildfire on the woman’s face, which made the pea boil with anger.

“ I am pleased you like it dear,” the woman enthusiastically said “ Now you must be getting weary, my son and I will be going, have a good night's sleep!” But the pea couldn’t help but hear the woman uttering “ Don’t have a good night's sleep if you want to marry my son.” The woman opened her mouth and started to say something to her son but before he could eavesdrop on their conversation, the door slammed shut, leaving only him and the ravishing young girl.

First Person:

I thought I should only make my escape when the maiden was asleep. So after she had started to sleep, I attempted to crawl out but she was rolling around so much that I could barely move! Then he entered. He was silent and he was… the young man I saw this afternoon? He looked around like he was going to harm or steal something, “If he dares harm the maiden, I will…” he paused. “If he did harm the girl what could I do? It's not like a single pea could even lay a green hand on a human. Even if I can’t beat him, I will fight to my last breath!” The pea thought aggressively. The man approached, but surprisingly he reached under the chunk of mattresses, and grabbed me straight out of my resting place. I let out a small ‘ack’, and as fast as he grabbed me ,he dropped me, letting me spiral onto the stone cold floor, “You can talk?!”exclaimed the astonished man, almost screaming “Of course,” I hissed, trying my best to be scary.

“H-how?” the man questioned, lowering his voice after seeing the beauty sleeping soundlessly

“I learnt from you humans,” I answered proudly beaming at his face.

“Oh, well then you must know who I am,” the prince said “No need for introduction,”

“Well actually, I don’t,” I said, my head dropping towards the ground.

“Oh that’s fine, I’ll tell you,” the man chirped, “I am the prince of this kingdom and I am to marry the maiden up on the bed there, if she feels the pea placed under those mattresses, you!”

“Oh,” I thought about telling the prince that I couldn’t do that, but the prince didn’t finish.

“ Well then, I have a job for you,” the man said, "Can you make the princess as uncomfortable as possible?” he asked, his eyes becoming rather large.

“I-” I stuttered

“Okay then, thank you so much!” the prince whispered happily. I couldn’t bring myself to tell the sweet prince my affection to the princess, he’d be so heartbroken. So after pondering for a while, I decided to do that but I would be in a different body.