Gordon woke up with a jolt like lightning. A new day and a new prospect. He kicked the blanket off him, exposing his warm body to the cold, morning air. He didn’t mind it. It would wake him up. He did all the usual morning things that anyone would do but he had one thing that he always looked forward. The horoscopes! He sat down with his sugar-packed cereal and milk and simultaneously scooped a large mouthful whilst opening his phone to see the latest.

He scanned to his star and read intently. His eyes lit up with instant excitement. He spent no time wasting and opened up his Tinder and began swiping furiously to the right. There was no discrimination in the swipes except for the amount of seconds each new face had to wait between each swipe. He stopped when the app told him he had no more people in the area, which wasn’t many since the last time he swiped with open arms.

He subsequently finished his bowl of cereal at speeds that only pigs could compete. He went to the the local corner shop and purchased many lottery tickets. As much as the money in his wallet contained. Actually, it was the winnings from his previous lottery pot dash.

He scratched furiously to reveal the results.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

He became furious and scratched his skull as the results betrayed the stars and he lived for the stars. He opened up his dating app to discover that he had been blocked from the app for suspicious activity.

He became furious and swiped the app from his phone, deleting it from existence.

Today was not his day. He looked at the time and counted the hours, minutes and seconds until the next horoscope. He smiled and continued on his day.