Jarvis leaned against the stone wall and surveyed the gaping maw of an entrance before him. His arms crossed and one finger tap tapping on his chin. Bushes, ferns and trees surrounded him. He had hiked for hours through the pine woods. Before him lay an improbable buried castle. Stone walls, paving stones made uneven over time and by vegetation. A trench or waterway leading into a wall with arch and portcullis and crenellations of all things.

When he first started on this path it was the result of false courage and a desire to impress Mazie. She was always waxing poetic about romantic knights on quests of true love and he was smitten. Then the drunk down the bar piped up about a lost castle in the wood and the blue flower at the bottom. Mazie looked at him, ”Now that would be a quest worthy of a knight.”

What was he to do.

The only thing missing was bard singing in the background. Of course that’s when the jukebox started playing “I’m gonna be” by the Proclaimers. Freaking destiny.

So now he leaned up against a stone wall in his jeans, Ariats and flannel looking into a dark, imposing tunnel in a buried castle right out of some damn fairy tale. All he had was a small khaki canvas pack of survival gear to get through this: a knife, flashlight, water bottle and paracord.

“Stupid freckles. Stupid braids. And bloody stupid me,” he thought. Or maybe he said it out loud. He wasn’t sure right then.

Right now his heart was pounding and his palms were sweaty. The damp, musty odor of the forest had been invigorating when he was still imagining this like a boy on a quest. Not now though, now the smells made him think of death and decay. His decay most likely.

Jarvis bobbed his head a few times and chewed his lip, psyching himself up. “You got this. No problem,” he said out loud, for sure this time, shaking his head a little he continued. “Just go in through the pitch black archway. Down the little tunnel of doom. And bring back the flower I find in the fountain of death at the end. Easy peasy.”

Now or never. He pushed off the wall and ambled towards the entrance, following the water channel.

It was so much bigger the closer he got. At the entrance he pulled out the maglite he had bought for the occasion and flicked on the beam.

“HELLO!!!” He cried out. Cuz that’s what you do when you are standing before a cavernous opening. A smile lit up his face as he listened to the echo.

But then he heard something else. Screeches. Flapping. Scraping. Cries.

Jarvis cried out in a voice pitched higher than he knew he could go and dropped to the ground. Arms covering his head, he made himself as small as he could and quivered as a swarm of bats flew out of the opening in a great wave.

What seemed like minutes later they had passed and he climbed shakily to his feet.

“Screw this.”

Jarvis spun on his heel and marched back the way he came. But then he stopped. This was his chance. He wanted nothing more in this world than to be her knight. He steeled himself again and made his way back down and into the tunnel.

His boots scraped along the stones and he could hear the trickle of the water as it flowed down the path. His light illuminated small swaths at a time as he swung it back and forth. And up. He knew that no one looked up in the movies.

To his relief, there was nothing there. The tunnel seemed to go down for miles in front of him and the light was swallowed in the distance and in the twists and turns.

Jarvis trudged on and finally came to a small natural cavern. He played his light around and saw a closed wooden doorway to the left and the trench of water continued down and to the right through a small, bricked hole.

“Nice wooden doorway or tiny, uncomfortable hole?”

The door was made of vertical planks and banded together in several spots. There was an iron handle on the right. And it was locked. Because of course it was.

Jarvis put his shoulder into it and got it to give a little. He wasn’t a little guy and figured his muscles and his bulk could get him through. He propped his light on the ground facing the doorway.

Taking a few steps back he rushed the door.

CRACK

Once more. He crashed hard into it and heaved feeling the door give way. He gripped the handle and pushed into the room.

“Agghhhhh”

He fell forward the same way as when you miss a step. By instinct, he grasped the handle with everything he had and held on to the ledge with his left foot. Praying for the first time in since he was a kid he levered himself back into the cavern and abruptly fell in a heap.

“She better appreciate this.”

Jarvis got back up after a brief rest and wiped the sweat from his face. He picked up the flashlight and shined it down into the room.

“Huh, no bottom. Wonder how that works.”

That left the tiny hole as the only option.

Jarvis got on hands and knees in the water and shined his light through opening this time. The tunnel carried on for several feet and seemed to open up again. He crawled in and pushed his way through.

Standing back up, he sloshed onwards. The only sounds were the echoes of splashing footsteps and the bubbling of the water. A slight breeze blew from below and carried a fresh aroma.

It didn’t take long to find the source of the fresh air. The stream flowed into a large cave that glowed with its own soft light. Plants and vines were growing on almost every surface. Some of them monstrously huge. But most importantly, the stream led to a fountain at the base of the far wall.

It was smaller than he thought it would be. In an alcove about 5 feet tall a small three layered fountain sat. It was made of white stone and seemed to be carved all out of one piece. Water bubbles up and out of a spout at the top where a bright azure blue flower grew. It had three long petals that grew up and then fanned out with a spray of golden stamens.

Jarvis made his way over to the fountain being careful to avoid tripping on any of the vines or plants along the way.

He looked around not trusting anything just yet and waited.

Nothing happened.

No traps. No beasts. No guardian. Slowly he reached out and plucked the flower. Then he cringed and held his breath. After a few moments he realized he was still breathing and alive.

“I did it,” he whispered.

“YYYYEESSSSS!” He fist pumped and jumped in his excitement. Coming down he landed on one of the vines and stumbled.

The flower was beautiful.

His foot slipped a bit and startled him out of his daze. Then it slipped again. Jarvis looked down and realized he wasn’t slipping, the vine had wrapped around his leg and started to pull.

He pulled back. The vine gave a little and he breathed a sigh of relief. The next moment the vine snapped taut and pulled Jarvis off his feet. It started dragging him towards one of the giant plants.

Jarvis looked up and saw the head of the massive plant turn towards him. It had to have been all of six feet tall and that big around. It was closed up with several great green leaves in a bulb shape. As he drew near though it opened to reveal jagged teeth all along the edges of each leaf. The interior was pink and red and undulated with each tug. The stench of writing meat wafted toward him and broke him from his stupor.

Jarvis clawed for his pack but he was laying on it. With a lunge he flipped himself off and reached around to pull it close. He twisted until he could open the flap to reach inside for his knife. His Swiss Army knife with thirty-six attachments.

Jarvis flipped one open. Flat head screw driver with bottle opener. Not gonna help.

He tried again. Nail file and cleaner. He stared for a moment in awe at his luck.

He was roughly pulled over a small rock and the thump made him focus. He pulled on one of the longer attachments and finally got the wood saw. Jarvis crunched up, pulling himself towards his trapped foot. He began to saw through the thick vine.

The carnivorous creeper let out a howl of pain and the wound oozed thick mucous sap onto his leg. Jarvis cried out as it burned through his pants. The sap was acidic.

He sawed faster as the plant pulled his leg into the air. Using the weight that now pulled down Jarvis was able to saw through quicker. As the lead bent its teeth towards him Jarvis managed to slice and rip through the final bit of vine. Falling back he tumbled to the side and kept to his feet. The acid stung but that only reinforced his urgency.

Jarvis dashed to his pack and the flower. Grabbed up his fallen flash light and ran for the exit. Vines began to wake up all around him. Seeking him out.

He leaped over the last remaining obstacles and headed up the stream. The journey back was much quicker as his adrenaline had not stopped.

“…and that’s how I ripped my pants and burned myself so badly.” Jarvis took a pull on his beer as he finished the tale.

“Carnivorous plants and a secret underground castle? You’re sticking with that? I like all the stories but that’s all they were Jar. Stories. Besides, you know old Benny just likes to tell tales from his books and movies like they’re real.”

Mazie looked at him in disbelief with raised eyebrows. “But I love that you would go to all that trouble and make that up just to be my knight in shining armor.”

She leaned forward and gave him a kiss.

Jarvis face went through every shade of red and his eyes opened wide in shock.

Mazie smirked,” I’ll go settle up and maybe we can go have an adventure together.”

“Ye-yeah that’s great.”

Turning, a flash of color caught her eye.

Laying in the bar top was a bright blue flower with golden stamen.

She turned back to Jarvis, mouth agape.

For just an instant, she swore he sat on the barstool in full armor. Beer bottle in hand.