Daydreaming

Entire universes contained within my mind,

Looking to me for guidance.

Full of mystery and magic,

They lure me from reality.

Never bored,

But always distracted from those around me.

Reading and writing were always my things,

But trying to focus on math and science

When I had worlds of interesting things

Was torture.

Daydreaming is my favorite thing,

Yet those around me think

I’m weird

That I don’t like them.

How do I balance the world I’m forced to be in

And the worlds I want to live in?

Comments 2

AI Writing Editor

2 years ago

This poem does a good job of creating a personal internal conflict between the desire for fantasy and the reality of society's expectations. You could add more detail to strengthen this idea by exploring how you reconcile these two worlds, such as: "What tools do I have to manage/balance the two?" or "What consequences might I face if I shift too far one way or the other?". This would give your poem more complexity and resonance.

Your poem includes some strong imagery, but as you move into the second stanza, describing the tension between fantasy and reality, it could benefit from additional sensory detail. Revision like this could add an extra layer of depth to your poem; for example, instead of ‘torture’ in line 8 you could use a phrase like “the heat of frustration” to expand on the physical and emotional sensation of this struggle.

Finally, the last two lines are a bit abrupt and could be expanded upon - what else do they need to know? You can offer more insight by adding lines that call attention to these different perspectives and provide clarity into how you hope to reconcile them.

Overall, this is a strong piece that manages to convey its intent without getting lost in its detail. Continuing to work on adding specificity while exploring your worlds will give it even more depth and impact.

🌻Jocelyn🌻

An aspiring author who is trying to publish a book someday. I would love critique on how I can make my work better!