(Bizarre prose rendition)

I will never forget the day the bananas took over the world.

They were very quickly overthrown, see.

However, there remained the issue of what do do with the rebels. For when all was said and done, we had a great big bunch of bananas beginning to brown.

Now obviously something had to be done.

There was only one correct answer. One which needed initiative, planning… preparation. And I am nothing if not prepared.

Three months before the republic was formed, at the first whispers of a revolution, I began seeding unrest among the walnuts. As far as uprisings go, it was rather straightforward. They dubbed their soldiers the Nutcrackers, breaking free from a shell of oppression.

Two weeks after the bananas led the revolution, the Nutcrackers cracked down.

I knew time was of the essence, so I convinced them to bring the prisoners to Greenland. It worked. The bananas were preserved in the cold, a natural freezer.

I took the Nutcrackers’ ship. You know the rest.

My only regret is that no banana nut bread will ever taste as good.

(Enjoy the absurdity and plot holes galore— and thanks a bunch 🍌)