You make me better my love.

your hand fits mine like a glove.

But if I take it off turn the clock hand and forget.

Ripping out the time in which we met.

I can see a version of myself standing filled with regret.

That time

When if

We had never met

That time

my hands stayed numb without calm hands to squeeze mine.

I continued to lie to myself about destructive habits being fine.

That time where and when we never met

If that time was in stone and set

I’d let myself believe that I deserve to be lonely

I would breathlessly shake and panic without a voice to console me.

I wouldn’t want someone close enough to hold me,

I am without a gentle and purposeful hand to hold my world in place.

I am sickened at the thought of deserving an unearned human embrace.

That time we never met I never understood how people could laugh at such stupid childish things just to annoy me.

I would never just sit still with anyone or breathe freely and calmly.

That time when we never met I was content in never trying to change.

That time I never met you I never would find someone to love my strange.

That time we never met I never will, would or could ever be understood.

I was never truly listened to

Because no one could ever do it like you.

I’m happy that

That time when if we had never met

Never came

Because In that time I continue to live with lingering shame,

It Is a time that doesn’t make any sense

A time that has no growth in the past or present tense

a time that is always blurry

a mix of might and maybe

a time that would mean I never discovered a beautiful part of who I am created to be.

I’m so grateful that there is

A place with no if and no never

A space

A place

A life

A time in which I get to be true

A universe in which I have the perfect privilege of forever loving you.