I can fly! Not in the Peter Pan kind of way, in the Superman kind of way. Pixie Dust sold separately. I should totally audition for the magic carpet in an Aladdin play. Or maybe sell vacation tickets. Free vacation to Italy, anyone?

Things don’t stay. I’m not sure whats happening. My clock says it’s midnight, but my eyes do _not_. Why is everything so bright?

I’m invisible. Which is good. I like not being seen, don’t I? Sure. Of course. But how do I order my morning coffee…?

I’m sticky. Not like a _controlled_ sticky. Like a I-stick-to-anything-I-touch-to-the-point-I-can-barely-get-out-of-bed kind of sticky. I guess this means another day off from work (and without my daily coffee).

I wake up sweating. Which is wonderful. Or it would be, except it’s the middle of summer. Should I sell myself on EBay as a furnace? Maybe I can cook food.

I jumped off a building today. Not in a suicidal way. I was testing to which extent falling like a feather could go to. With the risk of death, sure, but I’m starting to have confidence in these powers. It’s not too bad.

It is terrible. I am absolutely disgusted by this. I should sue.

Flowers are following me, send help.

I cannot stop blinking.

Please stop.

One word, help. Wait, that was three words.

I’ve never watched Hamilton, why am I quoting this guy in my living room?

Is that a seahorse?

Can I quit?

Yeah.

I think I want to retire.

At life.

Did my pie just become a jackalope?

I just peed my pants.