It started badly. First, she couldn’t find her front door keys, why were they not in her bag, like always? Then as she bent down to put her shoes on she heard a rip. Trousers ruined, nothing else ironed. Then of course, delays on the tube. She sat on the platform already telling herself this was a right royal fuck up. He probably won’t even wait, or he’ll see her and suddenly have an emergency to go to. No, stop! she told herself. Go through it. Is that fact or opinion? What would she say to a friend who was feeling that way? Mindful breathing. It helped, she calmed down.

She reached the restaurant, it looked fancy, not the usual she would go to. Bet they don’t serve pie and chips! She looked through the window and saw a guy sitting on his own, good-looking but with a irritable look on his face. He picked up the knife and frowned at it, before calling over a waiter and passing it to him. Please no, she thought. She opened the restaurant door and walked in, smiling at the woman who stood aside to let her in. He looked up and raised a hand, keeping the irritated look going. She half smiled at him and started to walk forward. She did not see the other step up and clumsily stumbled and reached out for the nearest thing to steady herself. Unfortunately, that turned out to be woman who had kindly let her by. To be precise it was the boob of the woman who had kindly let her by.

After spending some minutes profusely apologising she made it to the table red as red could be. Her date looked up at her from under his eyebrows and said quietly “well that’s embarrassing”. Unsure whether he meant for her or him, she laughed awkwardly and agreed.

“Nice to meet you” she said.

“Yes” was his answer.

“Do you come here often?” she joked.

“Yes” he repeated.

“Ok” she murmured, ordered a large G&T (she guessed she might need it) and looked at the menu.

“So what’s good?” she asked.

“The fois gras is sublime” he answered, finally with some joy in his voice.

“I won’t eat that” she retorted.

“Why ever not?”

“Er...because of the unethical way it’s produced”.

“Oh no, you’re one of those” he rolled his eyes, “are you going to start spouting off about how we should all become vegan and live in trees?” he smirked. She was so taken aback she didn’t know what to say. Not that he was waiting for an answer.

Things didn’t get better.

They sat in silence until their meals came, and then he sighed and said “So what do you do?”.

“I’m a carer” she answered with pride. I work with....”

“A carer?” there was that sneer again.

“Yes” she decided to ignore that “as I was going to say, I work with...”

“Did you not do well at school?”

“I bet your pardon? Actually, the people who work in the caring profession are highly....”

“Waiter” he said loudly “this is cold. Please replace it with something that’s at least warm”. Oh my god, she thought, is this guy for real? She didn’t bother trying again. They fell into silence again. Both turned down dessert and then settled the bill, going halves as she really didn’t want him to pay for her, even though he said she probably couldn’t afford it.

Once outside, he hailed a taxi. As he opened the door he turned to her. “Want to come back to mine?” he raised his eyebrows.

“Not in the slightest” she laughed.

“Fine” and then he slammed the door, leaving her on the kerb, wondering what on earth actually happened.

“Well that’s just over an hour I’ll never get back” and she walked back toward the tube station.