<trigger warning: political commentary, guns.>

No, no, no. We were chanting “Paint My Fence!”

We were just looking for some help with simple domestic tasks. Honest!

It’s a very beautiful building, I thought I’d get some pictures. The only shots I took were with my camera… on my phone.

Ok, yes, I am carrying a rifle, but that’s because I am a duck hunter.

Ummm, duck hunting season is in October? Would you believe me if I said buck hunter?

Also not in season? Crap.

I mean, it wasn’t even fired today. Besides, I have a 2nd amendment right to bear arms!

Yes of course I’ve read the constitution. Have you?

A well-regulated militia? It does not say that. You’re making that up. I can have any gun I want at any time in any place.

Wait, wait. You can stop pointing yours at me. Look, I am slowly pulling out the magazine and emptying the chamber. See? The gun is clear. No threat.

I suppose I could put my finger in it, but why?

Ok, ok. Sheesh.

Umm, that black residue has been there since September. No, wait. I mean October.

All I’m saying is I did nothing wrong. This is public property, right? So… I’ll just be on my way. My wife is expecting me to come back with… some… rabbits? Those are in season now, right? Then I need to clean my rifle, since I haven’t since… um… did I say October?

Seriously, you don’t need those cuffs. I’ve done nothing wrong! I am a citizen and have every right to be here.

I’ve done nothing wrong!

I’VE DONE NOTHING WRONG!!!