It began as all bad days do: waking up late, knotted up hair, spilling coffee.

It’s awful, trust me, I know.

But that’s what Mondays do.

I wish I could change it, but I was gifted Saturdays. The complete and utter opposite of Monday.

Mondays are normally matted black haired brats who wear nothing but grey and blue, sometimes black to hide the stains.

Like wear something cheerful for once! Maybe yellow? Pink? Red? ANYTHING BUT BLUE AND GREY!!!!

Sorry, that’s besides the point.

You’re probably wondering why I sent you this story.

And honestly, I didn’t. My guardians did. They thought it would be SO GREAT to send out a little notice about how UTTERLY AWFUL AND DANGEROUS Mondays are.

So if you are reading this and you feel some kind of connection to Mondays or only wear blue and grey, STOP READING NOW!

Trust me, you will be so furious you’ll make the week even worse.

Okay, now that that is addressed, we can begin.

Like I said, I was gifted Saturdays. And as you know, there are seven days of the week, therefore seven categories.

Sundays mean you are sweet, but have a dark sad.

Tuesdays mean you like tacos. Just kidding. Tuesdays are normally right after Monday, so they’re a little grumpy, but have potential.

Wednesdays are optimistic, but that can change in a second.

Thursday are just ready for Fridays and are pretty lazy.

Fridays are a bit lazy but ready to go.

Saturdays (that’s me) are friendly, EXTREMELY energetic and terrible at school. (Okay maybe I shouldn’t have added that last part.)

And Mondays are the worst.

Now my guardian is telling me they AREN’T the worst, but are just hard to talk to.

Yeah right.

But the worst part about them is that they are so stubborn. They won’t move forward to the next day till you get EVERYTHING done.

So if you ever meet a Monday, which you probably won’t, don’t trust them. Walk away.

Listen, you don’t want to end up like me.

Because my guardians are Mondays.

Help.