“You don’t say.”

“sir.”

“As you like.”

"you’re welcome.”

In flat tones these nine words slipped out the conference door and down the hallway, repeated over and over again. Rollo listened at the door.

“So what’s wrong with it?” Rollo said.

The big man tapped the android on its forehead with his cigar. A thick chunk of ash fell off the cigar and landed on the android’s lap. Staring straight ahead blankly, the android sat upright slowly blinking.

“No smoking Mr. Carmella,” Brie said without looking up from her tablet.

Rollo blew a huge puff of foul smoke at her. She coughed and waved.

“God, where do you even get those. Weren’t they outlawed when dinosaurs roamed the Earth?”

Rollo puffed. Brie glared. The android blinked.

“Is it fixed?” Rollo asked.

“His name is Lewis 5. He told me his name is Lewis 5 with an Arabic number not a V or f I v e.”

The tech returned to her tablet.

“I don’t care if it calls itself Slim Shady and cuts a single with Dr. Dre. Did you fix it or is it still going to give me lip?” Rollo asked.

Scratching his round belly, the big man paced around the android. It was his chef and it was the best he had ever had. Rollo had replaced the android with other Feltham models, with higher priced Robotex models, even humans. No one and no thing came close to this android’s crepes. Rollo’s stomach grumbled.

“You’re welcome,” Lewis 5 said.

“See!” Rollo shouted.

“See what? The unit can only say ten words now per your request.” Brie said, still not looking up from her tablet.

“It is still saying rude things. I can’t enjoy my risotto with its grey face smirking at me. The deliciousness is snatched from my mouth,” Rollo moaned.

“You don’t say,” Lewis 5 said. The android’s boyish face transformed into a raucous grin for a second before blanking into an emotionless state.

“We noticed some unusual reading suggesting possible after market alternations to this Feltham unit. Isn’t that right, Lewis 5? Who altered you?” Brie looked at the android.

‘Sir,” Lewis 5 said brightly.

“No proof, no proof. I’m taking my chef home. Android up. We are going home.”

“Of course, Lewis 5 is your property. But if you void the warranty Feltham is not responsible for unit malfunctions,” Brie said. “And he wants to be called Lewis 5 remember.”

Rollo sagged. “Lewis 5 please can be get out of here? I’m wasting away.”

The android rose solemnly and then tap-danced out of the room. “As you like,” Lewis 5 sang as he performed an excellent soft-shoe. Rollo followed placing his lunch order.

Brie opened a window and watched Lewis 5 dance into the parking lot. She smiled thinking of Lewis 5’s tenth word.