STORY STARTER
Your protagonist walks into an antiques shop, and finds a mirror which shows their reflection twenty years from now.
You could focus on their reaction to this sight, on the story of the mirror, or even what they decide to do with this mirror now they know what it shows.
Shattered
_Smash! _
Glass rains down and my hand smarts with pain. A voice cries out, and hands grab me and pull me away from the scene I made. I hardly notice, don’t care. It can’t be true, can’t be true, can’t be true.
I traveled across the country to see this fabled mirror. There are stories on the news, of people who saw themselves twenty years in the future. Fame, wealth, _happiness_ is what I was expecting. My dreams come true, a life with meaning, a shadow of hope and a new world on the horizon.
The owner of the mirror is yelling at me. The sound is muffled to my ears. Anger is not worthwhile.
I spare my hand a glance. There is a shard of that cursed mirror embedded in the skin, and I pull it out, oblivious to the sharp pain.
I study the reflection, taking it all in. I feel nothing, numbness enveloping me. There is nobody in the mirror.
In twenty years, I will be gone.
Oh I love this! It’s terrifying, and I think it was a really good choice to not reveal what she saw until the second-to-last sentence. This is actually genuinely frightening to me, the thought of knowing when I will die. So great job on making your readers feel emotion!
I think the pace is good, and I especially like how your writing is a bit more poetic when the mc talks about what they thought they’d see: “My dreams come true, a life with meaning, a shadow of hope and a new world on the horizon,” but a bit more blunt and matter-of-fact towards the end, kind of visually showing their numb feeling. I have no idea if I’m just reading too much into it, but nevertheless I like this a ton
Though it’s short, I guessed out why they broke the mirror before you told us. So I say that it was written well. Yeah, it’s short, and a bit too quick. I would have loved to see the MC’d excitement when they walked into the place but then shift to anger and disappointment when they looked into the mirror
I was wondering if it was clear enough to the reader that the main character smashed the mirror. I’d appreciate if somebody let me know.
I’d love to hear some feedback on my story, particularly about the piece itself, the pace, and the narrative voice. I didn’t take much time to write this, so it may sound a bit sloppy but I tried.
