“I have no choice!”

My throat closed up. Of course, I thought bitterly. That’s how it always began.

“If I don’t, then what? Do you think I want to do this?” The young woman-I refuse to call Hope by her name-was shouting at me now.

“My baby is coming in 3 months, much sooner than expected!” A raw cry toor threw her lips. “Unlike you!-“she pointed an accusing, shaking finger at me “-I’m not old, living at a retirement home where I’ll be taken care of for the rest of my meaningless life!” Tears were now rolling down her cheeks, but she didn’t notice.

“I wouldn’t do this is Fred wasn’t dead.” Her voice, a whimper, begged me to understand.

“With Dan dead, I’ll be the first to inherit the money.” Her voice was taking on a dangerous edge.

I open my mouth to speak, but she plows on, not giving me a chance. Why did the people I love most always hurt me the most?

“He never even gave me a crumb of bread. Not. One. Crumb. Not in Fred’s fire. Not after the pregnancy test. Fred and I were fine, you know. Sure, we were a new couple. But we would be fine if It didn’t happen. And if Dan had loaned me even two thousand dollars, I wouldn’t have to…” her forehead veins bulge, but I know she won’t say it.

“It’s a girl, you know. And she’s the last I have of Fred.” She looks at me, her eyes turned to steel.

Finally, I speak.

“No. I’ll leave here, sell all my clothes. I have my engagement ring still. I’ll find someone to pay me to live in my room. You know that I can’t use my money towards anything else-it goes straight to the senior home, as stated in the will-but I’ll sell everything I have. Anyway, my time’s coming. I can feel it.”

My daughter breaks.

“But mom…

only you, Dad, God, and Fred loved me. Dad’s gone. God will hate me soon. And Fred’s gone.

If you’re gone, then who will love me?”