I'm tired. That girl is obsessed with me. She's barely looking at me and she's watching someone else's every move but she's obsessed with me and won't leave me a my girlfriend alone. She told me so, because she's a telepath and reads other people's thoughts.

The path to revolution is not an easy one, but I'm fighting evil. And that evil is... my own self-obsessive projections, and my girlfriend's. She gets off on persecuting people online and posting idiotic books about how I rejected a woman who wasn't even interested in me in the first place. She was, at some point, crazy in love with me, before I became the monster I am today. Or was I a monster already? My intelligent pretty girlfriend had the idea, mostly due to her own jealousy. She's so obsessed with women stealing her from me and doing the same thing she did to them, that she can't sleep at night.

Once she poisoned an entire bookshop just to get back at a woman who doesn't even care about us, or think we're relevant anymore. But because my girlfriend is pathologically self-obsessed, and I have a gigantic ego that my abuse of a woman who used to love me didn't calm, we burn libraries just to see them burn, not because we actually think someone did something bad to us. We attempted at her life more than once, but we're not the only ones, as you can imagine. Her own family too, especially her father and greedy mother and sister.

But my girlfriend, what an intelligent brilliant psychopath. She is so smart, and instead of using her brain to finish her degree, she uses it to abuse another woman. Brilliant woman. She not only devises evil plans for me but for her father too. She could sell evil ideas to people and get rich, that's how smart and limitlessly cruel she is. And I love it, makes my penis hard. It's difficult to make it so, but evil does.

She once invaded a florist, or advised a plan to that woman's sister, not quite sure, and poisoned the water on all the plants so they wouldn't grow. My blonde-haired, frame-glassed, evil genius.

Of course she would be nothing but a meek book-stealing nerd without me and my death-granting magic. But she'll do anything for my twisted love, including burning libraries with innocent people inside. But she has the aid and support of another blonde, because blondes help blondes and that one is another evil genius who is dating none other than that girl's father. How fate collides! My girlfriend even lent one of her weapons to the girl, one of her precious poisonous books. To say I'm proud would be an understatement.

But my girlfriend's poisonous book recommendations and lying books of records are just one of her many charms. Imagine how sexy it is to see a woman's weapon being throwing a poisoned "My Year of Rest and Relaxation" book against her imaginary opponent who doesn't give a crap about her or her petty invented dramas but instead is trying to defend herself from another opponent, the same exact woman my girlfriend lent her poison book powers to. Thinking back, might not be a coincidence and they're joining forces of evil. That girl did post a picture of herself with my girlfriend's powerful poison book, I was so proud! But I'm licking my lips just imagining them. Now. Later, I will be licking her lips, with any luck.

And oh, she will do anything for a fix, when others want nothing of the drugs I have to offer, but I still try to convince myself they do, because I'm irresistible, like Gaston. Well, one of them did, and would still maybe, if I wasn't such an asshole, but unfortunately it's a family-inherited trait. Granted, I'm not the Dorian Gray kind of irresistible asshole, but serial killer Beatles type, or Charles Manson, if you will.

Self-awareness is truly revolutionary, isn't it?