"I love you so much."

He contorts his face in disgust.

"Why don't you love me?!" I cry, pleading with him.

Is it because I spent too long at David's and your dinner was an hour late?

He just gives me the side-eye.

This is not fair. I don't know what I did to deserve this treatment. He's so hot and cold. One minute, he's cuddling up to me on our bed giving me kisses. The next, he's getting up in the middle of the night to go sleep on the couch.

"Look, let's just go. Maybe you'll feel better after a nice long walk on the beach."

The word "walk" makes his ears perk up. His tail wags and suddenly he's jumping on me in excitement.

That's a good boy.