It wasn’t an actual snake, though. It was the person who had been sleeping next to me for almost 15 years. I had begun to suspect something was wrong when money came up missing from our shared accounts without a good reason, when he was constantly changing plans, when his social media said he was in Chicago when he was actually in LA.

He had gotten smarter-he blocked me on social media, and started using a phone not on our shared plan. Or at least he thinks he did. After all, in his ignorance, he failed to realize that everything leaves a trace.

So I decided to do the only thing that I could do: deal the death blow to our moribund marriage. I called a lawyer, and served his pathetic ass with papers about a week after I fully and finally figured it out. What a pathetic SOB. I may be sleeping alone now, but it’s better than being with someone who didn’t want to be with me.