Shit...they are after me again. They want to destroy my precious supply of Oreos. No, not take them. They are the Twinkie Lords, and have decided that their yellow sponge cake will be the currency of this new world.

Fools. I don’t want to use Oreos as currency, I want to eat them. They are mine, I won the fair and square, all those years ago. Before everything went wrong...

Not enough time to talk about the past. I have to protect my lovely little cookies. Mine! I release the hounds, to no effect. The Twinkie Lords just sacrifice some of their snack cakes, and my hounds are in junk food bliss.

I’ve tried to reason with them, but they are beyond all hope. Barely even human at this point. All they care about is The Twinkies.

I must run, for now. I grab my emergency pack containing only Oreos, and dash. My main stash is safely hidden, but I do mourn for the sweet cookies that will arrive next week. They will fall to the Twinkie Lords, but I will survive.

I need weapons, and then I will return.

I shall avenge the cookies.