I'm wearing my grandmas top

It smells like her

The house I lived in when I was 2

Every other Christmas

And every new years eve

It smells like spanglish and the best rice

It smells like late nights

With my cousins on a stolen device

Playing games we were too young for

Eating snacks we were too old for

It smells like the songs we used to sing

And the laughs we used to have

It smells like the dishwasher we would load

And the homework we would do

And the programmes we would watch

Kids ones with no speaking

So everyone would understand

It smells like fluffy slime leaking

Too much of this and too little of that

We would get the ratio right one day

We would throw it in the bin the next

We would say hello all the time

And goodbye on the 3rd day

Three sleepless nights because

Sleep is boring and doesn't smell like

Our teddies having adventures

And midnight walks on the balcony

I wonder when we last said hello

I wonder when we last said goodbye

I wonder if it will be the last

I wonder if it is my fault

That we're out of touch

(edit)

I've sat with it for a while

Worn it all morning

Mourning

I've decided I don't like the smell

It's sickening. Suffocating.

The top is tight and loose

Soft and strangling

It's heavy and hot

And cold like the the sleepovers at hers

With no blanket

So I'm wrapping the bed sheet

Tighter and tighter

Around my torso

Hopefully it restricts my growth

And I'm 2 at her house forever