Dedicated to my Puppe

I’ve been sitting here and waiting, staring at the door;

Waiting for my mother who they say won’t come anymore.

I’ve been sitting here for ages, my bottom starts to ache,

And yet this feeling haunts me every moment I’m awake.

I know it was just yesterday when my mother called my name,

I know it in my heart of hearts but something’s not the same.

Now my limbs feel heavy and my bones all seem to hurt,

I want to go home right away but can’t seem to find the words.

I’m not sure of this place I’m in or who thought to leave me here,

But when they went and left me, they forgot to reappear.

There are some of those who help me or treat me like a child,

While my inner thoughts begin to shift into feelings I revile.

I am not weak and stupid. I am not dumb and lame.

It’s just that someone left me here and I’ve forgotten why I came.

But then a loud noise stops me, and from the door I hear,

A gentle voice there calling me and saying, “Mother, dear.”

I do not know whose child this is, but it seems she is lost too,

And so I invite her to sit down and spend the afternoon.

And when the evening lengthens and stretches towards the night,

I glance on over at the girl expecting my mirror of fright.

I do not want to stay here, in a place I do not know;

but her confidence reassures me and my own then starts to grow.

I feel myself relax a bit and start to look around,

It’s then that my surroundings seem to slightly less astound.

This woman sat before me, has a kind familiar face, one that would be very loved, that a mother could not misplace.

It’s in her eyes that I start to see the little pieces of myself,

Begin to knit together like a candle starts to melt.

Suddenly this feeling, that I was sure I couldn’t name,

Began to start to whisper that she is the reason why I came.

I could not shake the initial hurt that quickly pierced my chest,

But looking at her lovely face I settled my unrest.

That face I had not recognized - looking at me sweetly,

Was that of my own sweet daughter come to cheer and meet me.

For then, only a moment, I realized the reason that I hurt,

I was no longer a little child awaiting my own mother.

These aches and pains that plagued me were earned throughout the years,

Playing with my own children and wiping away their tears.

And so I relaxed there comfortably while staring at my child,

Hoping that this time together would not unwind the dial,

But as my eyes grew cloudy - and misty with my tears,

I found that I couldn’t remember the reason why I’m here.

The only thing I remember, is staring at the door,

And waiting for my mother who’s not coming anymore.