Whoosh, I’m suddenly in a bar and I pause in confusion. But it’s as if this scene keeps happening around me regardless. I look at my hand, it’s my hand. I keep looking to check it’s real and these automatons just keep going around me, despite my lack of mutual interest.

I look up and notice this gorgeous girl across the bar making eyes at me. What on earth is happening?

I look at her again. She’s definitely into me, and Christ she is hot.

I forget about the weirdness of the situation and keep looking at her while the automatons interact at me and around me.

The girl gives me a look and then gets her jacket. I leave after her, excusing myself for some reason, but I don’t think it would have made a difference whether I did so or not.

I get outside and there she is, looking at me. She bites her lip and beckons me to follow her.

This girl likes to play dangerous games and I shouldn’t play this game because I wrote it and I know where it’s going.

I follow her anyway, and as we approach St James’ park I know what it means, I know it’s sex, death or both.

I walk eagerly behind her and when we get to the tree in the middle of the park she finally turns to face me.

I know it’s you Daniel, I saw your soul drop in to Dr Velde’s body

I pause in astonishment and say ‘er, yeah. Hello!’

‘And you followed me anyway, hoping for what?’

‘we—‘

‘shut up!’

‘You followed me despite knowing how this ends because your little pea brain wanted some. But let’s forget that for a moment’.

‘Why did you write me as such a cliche, with these ridiculous ‘sexy’ tattoos and using my sexuality to kill men I could just as easily sneak up on’.

‘Well, I don’t know I just thought of you that way’.

She gave me a disappointed look and said ‘so I’m just a lazy fantasy of yours?’

‘No, well in a way yes, but you’re still a bad ass assassin.’

‘Yes with a troubled past, blah, blah, blah. A victim through and through. Why couldn’t you make me like James Bond?’

‘He’s an orphan, it’s not like his life was all peaches’.

‘Well he doesn’t get raped Daniel! And he doesn’t end up in some shitty orphanage having to give birth to two children who are taken away before he’s sterilised! What the actual fuck were you thinking? Like I couldn’t have just had a normal life and then chosen to be an assassin. Fucking male authors and your lazy cliches’.

‘Well, cmon. It makes for a good story’.

She aped my voice in a childlike manner, ‘makes for a good story’ she said rolling her eyes.

‘Let’s get this stupid scene over with’.

'I wrote it, and you are about to murder me, so I’m in no rush’.

‘Oh stop being a pussy or you’ll be stuck here’.

She paused, looked at me and said

‘Look, I’ll make a deal with you’.

‘What?’

‘Since I’m your little fantasy character, we can do the nasty quickly before I send you off. And I won’t kill you as painfully as you wrote Dr Velde’s death here. But you have to get rid of the tattoos and make me less broken and pathetic. Maybe I just like to kill people’.

With that she dropped her coat and opened her shirt under which she was braless. Her body shone in the cold moonlight and my mind was made up.

I walked over and planted a kiss on her neck, whispering to her ‘you drive a hard bargain’ as I breathed in the soft, sweet aroma of her hair.

We kissed and then looked into one another's eyes. She was just so perfect in every way.

‘Sike!’ She said as she pushed her flat blade through my ribcage, deep into my lung.

I dropped to the floor clutching the wound as she carried on looking directly into my eyes, circling like a victorious predator.

‘I’m obviously not gonna fuck you. Now would you like to die slowly like Dr Velde did or are you going to write those changes I suggested’.

I looked at her in desperation, wheezing though bubbles of blood and saliva. Nodding an enthusiastic yes trying to convince her.

She reached to her lower back and pulled out her pocket pistol.

‘You sure Danny?’

I desperately nodded yes once more and she put the barrel of her gun under my chin. She said ‘bye sweetie’, giving me a condescending pat on the cheek and pulling the trigger.

I woke up with an abrupt start, looking around the room in comforting, relieved disbelief.

What an intense dream I thought, before getting out of bed and back to writing a less cliche version of my girl assassin.