Watching the soft colors of the sunset blend into darkness, was something I grew up doing. Hanging my legs off the end of the dock. Barely touching the tip of the cool blue water.

“It’s beautiful,” Kai came over and sat down next to me. He handed me a hot chocolate.

“I didn’t think you noticed things like that.”

Kai half smiled, “If I noticed you, doesn’t that mean I do?”

I looked up at Kai sighing. I should have expected something like that for his answer. It’s my fault, I brought it on myself.

Kai sat down next to me letting his feet fall into the water.

“You just couldn’t help yourself,” I said as he dipped his arm into the water.

He looked at me his arm still deep in the water.

“What?”

“You always have to try to get my attention. And you enjoy it.”

Kai laughed, “I don’t have to try. Just by walking in the room I’ve got your attention . But yes I do enjoy it.”

I pushed Kai, making him fall into the water. It wasn’t because of what he said, it was mostly because it was true.

Kai grabbed onto the side of the dock, bringing his head out.

“What was that for?” He asked, taking a deep breath.

“Just for being you.”

Kai shook his head spraying water everywhere, “You know I’m not clueless. I can take a hint.”

I rolled my eyes, “What does that mean?”

“Even the dead talk.”

I kicked water into Kai’s face, “Stop speaking in your confusing language.”

Kai laughed as he lifted a hand to cover his face, “Admit it you like when I’m confusing. Most everyone does.”

“Oh yeah. Name one person.”

Kai smiled, “Well you.”

I kicked more water, “No,” I laughed, “I don’t.”

Kai pulled himself up onto the dock making a puddle, “You do. And you can’t deny it. Because I know it’s true. Just like how I know your crazy about me.”

I nudged Kai with my arm, “I’m not crazy about you.”

Kai wiped his face with the side of his arm, “You can lie to yourself all you want. But the universe knows, and sooner or later those lies you tell won’t work anymore. You’ll have to bring yourself to admit the truth.”

Kai normally wasn’t full of this advice, If I could even call it advice. It seemed like he was just trying to make things more confusing. Which was very annoying. And that I knew was the truth. Kai just wanted me to like him, which would never happen in a million years.

“We’re all entitled to our secrets.”

Kai stood up squeezing water out of his black t shirt, “I bet a million bucks your entitled to more than one.”

I nodded slowly, “Certain lives have certain consequences. Certain pains.”

Kai gave me a small smile, “Everyone can change. You just have to take that step, even if it scares you more than anything.”

I looked into Kai’s bright blue eyes, “I’ll take the step when I’m not afraid.”

“It’s like you said an eternity’s not enough time if you keep making excuses.”

Kai walked away leaving a small trail of water behind him.

That advice I gave him wasn’t something I thought was possible. I was just trying to make it seem possible for him. I guess it didn’t work. Or maybe he thought that it was me who really needed to change. Even though I didn’t have more than one secret. Just one, but it was so big, so crazy I wasn’t ready to admit it to myself. Maybe one day. One day when I decide I can handle the pain that will come after it.