I’ve done what I swore I never would; I’ve signed the Contract of Loyalty. I don’t necessarily have a logical reason for why I did it other than the fact that I had nothing waiting for me back in the rebellion. While I was being mentally and emotionally tortured they didn’t even try to rescue me. While I was ready to defend the cause until my last breath, they were content to abandon me, even after all I’d done for them. It’s interesting to look back and realize just how toxic that place was.

Peter walks in, opening the front door and sliding off his shoes, humming as he makes his way into the kitchen. I’ve been too afraid to leave our house, well mansion really, but he went to fetch us breakfast which I appreciate. I don’t deserve him, not even close; he’s so amazing and I’m so…me.

“Jessa, I know that look on your face. You are incredible and I will always believe that; it will always be the truth, no matter what.”

He grabs two plates out of the cupboard and sets our food on them, a pumpkin scone for him and a maple bar for me. For some reason I just can’t seem to get enough of those lately, and they’re quickly becoming my favorite breakfast. It also helps that I no longer have to run drills all morning, starting at sunrise. This is the first time I can remember that I’ve been truly relaxed.

“Thank you for getting breakfast. I’m sorry I didn’t go with you this time! I told you I would and I was planning to but I just panicked and…”

Walking over to me and setting our plates down, he interrupts me by wrapping his arms tightly around me and kissing the top of my head like he sometimes does to calm me down. “Jessa, you have nothing to apologize for, not to me or to anyone. Whenever and wherever our lives go, I’ll be happy just as long as I’m with you.”

I snuggle into his embrace, letting my head rest on his chest so that the sound of his heartbeat can help me calm my own. He’s right, just like always. What matters is that we’re together, and besides, after everything that I’ve gone through lately, it’s completely reasonable for me to be healing slowly. Recovering from mental and emotional manipulation and a fear of being taken advantage of takes a while to recover from, at least in my experience.

“I’m so afraid that she’ll show up with a bunch of security officers and drag you away again. I know it’s been two months but I’m still so scared that they’ll try and take you from me.”

Instead of telling me I’m overreacting or that I’m being silly, he simply says “I know. I’m afraid of that too but it’s not going to happen because we won’t let it.”

Hearing his comforting words, I slowly nod and lift my head up so that our eyes lock on each other. Food momentarily forgotten, I lean in and kiss him, enchanted as always with the look in his eyes and the warmth of his smile. He kisses me back, practically pulling me onto his lap as his hands slowly move up my sides, sliding my shirt off painfully slowly.

As we’re about to keep going, there’s a sharp knock at the door and it sounds almost…angry. Exchanging a look of confusion, mixed with a little bit of uneasiness, we make our way to the door, reasoning that whoever is here, it would probably be a bad idea to keep them waiting. The knock comes again, even more insistent this time, and I groan. We’re on our way. Whatever it is surely can’t be quite that urgent. Besides, who would come here when we still hadn’t had our breakfast yet? This whole thing makes no sense.

Keeping an arm wrapped around me, Peter opens the door and suddenly the angry knocking makes all too much sense. Standing in the doorway is the commander of the entire rebellion, aka my former boss, and she’s practically fuming as she holds up a newspaper article that’s all about me.

“WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE PLAYING AT?”

This early in the morning, her shouts are loud enough that I instinctively reach up and cover my ears, trying to block out the noise. Instead of backing down like I wish she would, she shoves the newspaper in my face so roughly that it nearly smacks me.

“DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW RECKLESS AND SELFISH YOU’RE BEING?”

My face turns bright red, partially from shame over being screamed at like that but mostly out of anger that she would come back after all this time, only to scold me!

“You abandoned me there! You left me there for three years and now you’re mad because I finally made it out? What the hell is wrong with you? Who do you think you are to tell me that I’m the one being selfish? I did everything for you and for this rebellion, you’re the selfish one because you never even bothered to appreciate me or be there for me when I needed it! You didn’t even come rescue me, didn’t even try! I don’t care about your stupid newspaper article, just take it right back to hell with you and never contact me again!”

She blinks, momentarily speechless, and I’m guessing she didn’t expect me to know about the fact that she didn’t even bother to try and get me out of that Facility.

This time her voice is softer, quieter, and anyone who didn’t know better would think she was trying to be more kind and understanding now. Except, I do know better.

“Jessamine, this article says you signed the Queen’s Contract of Loyalty. Is that true, did you really just throw away everything that easily? Is that really who you are, a traitor to the cause, a traitor to me, a traitor to everything we stand for?”

“You mean what you stand for. Maybe I decided that there are things that are worth more to me than constantly fighting an uphill battle. For the first time in my life, I’m happy, and I’m not constantly having to look over my shoulder. If you would have shown me that you cared, at least a little, then maybe things would be different but they’re not. You crossed the line, you’re no longer welcome in my life, and you never will be. I won’t stand for a cause that won’t even bother to be there for me.”

With that, I shut the door in her face and lean my head back up against Peter’s chest, doing my best to take some deep breaths. That’s one door shut and another opened. Although a part of me is curious to know what the article says, a bigger part of me knows that it doesn’t matter. The only thing that does matter is that I’m right here; I’m with someone I love, and I’m finally at peace with myself.