I don’t understand people. They always strive to discover what is different, yet when they find something new they are always afraid of it.

I’ve tried making friends but it’s proven to be very difficult lately, mostly due to my “habits” that I sometimes express at the wrong times but I assure you I don’t do them on purpose, I promise. You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this, well here’s the story.

I’ve had the same locker since school started. Now the locker in itself works completely fine and is an ordinary locker however some people that I have previously attempted to befriend seemed concerned when they saw what was in it. “What the hell?!” A girl named Sandra expressed. “Are you a fucking creep?!” My most recent friend Craig exclaimed quite violently to my face, oh and yes people in the school have grown quite distant from me over time but I just don’t understand why.

“It doesn’t matter what I like!” I tell myself almost every time I twist the mechanical lock around. Even though I’m a normal teenage boy I still don’t get the recognition I deserve for being smart, funny and honest. How many boys my age are like that but no, just because I collect certain items I’m now the “school creep.” It’s confusing and slightly unfair if you ask me.

Take sports for example, if you like tennis then wouldn’t you have tennis balls in your locker? And what about art? If you like art then it would be more than okay to have paint brushes in your locker, I think. So if someone where to like the articulate designs of baby dolls then it would be normal to have them close by. It’s my passion to hold onto these items seeing as they are beautifully breathtaking in every way. Yes they may take up a lot of room but its worth every hassle.

When I find these new dolls they ignite this overwhelming feeling to drop to my knees and question whether I deserve such a spectacular object and it’s a feeling I adore. I would give up anything and anyone to truly seek out the perfect image. Dolls show us the best of humanity and it’s something we should all cherish so I don’t understand why and how a someone or anyone could hate that. When I’m holding onto one of the many alluring pieces of art I no longer feel alone, so it must mean it’s right for me.

Some like my therapist may label me a broken boy who has no grip on reality but I know what I want. I’m able to search for something new and not get scared when I don’t understand what I’ve found, instead I embrace it and from now on that’s what I’m going to make people do. Embrace change. And more over embrace me.