Early morning and Im reluctantly emersed in my morning routine. First up, feeding the dogs. Then I move on to washing the dishes. I didnt sleep well last night and I woke up with an overwhelming feeling of grief. Three years ago my mother passed away suddenly and unexpectantly. I used to get these feelings of grief quite often following her death but it rarely happens to me now. Oh well, back to the dishes. Not that I enjoy doing dishes but there is something immediately gratifying about taking a dirty plate, wiping the details of yesterday away and ending up with a nice clean dish. Luckily, my sink is just beneath a large window with a view of the backyard. I love the backyard, its a cliche represention of my life. Theres a not so neat garden area with maybe 30% of my seeds sprouting….not much but it feels good to grow something. I have greens on the lawn but its definitely not grass, lots of dandelion and other various underrated green ground cover. But there is one conrner of the backyard that is just amazing. Its the wild bird corner. Its just magical….and not in a sense that it looks professionally crafted but in a more DIY project that actually turned out the way I envisioned. There are colorful flowers, one bird feeder…semi-squirrel proof of course and a few large fallen branches to add to the natural scape. And the birds, there are so many birds! This morning it is oddly quiet in the bird corner so I continue with the dishes. Midway through washing a bowl I look over at the corner and there is the most beautiful bright red cardinal Ive ever seen. Hes not at the bird feeder hes just sitting on one of the branches…if I didnt know any better Id swear he was staring right at me. I pause and keep staring back at the cardinal for what seemed like minutes but was probably more like a few seconds. In those few seconds staring at the bird, the feeling of grief and sadness is almost unbearable but then something weird happened. Immediately after the immense sadness -I feel calm, not happy but peaceful. Its very strange but its almost like this cardinal was communicating with me. I felt it, I cannot explain it but it was the weirdest most wonderful thing Ive experienced. As for the rest of my day, it was a challenging day but that feeling of peace stayed with me and I keep a subtle smile on my face all day.