STORY STARTER
“He’s… He’s dead.” The messenger barely choked out the words, his eyes wide with horror. Swallowing, he extended a trembling hand.
“But he left this behind.”
STORY STARTER
“He’s… He’s dead.” The messenger barely choked out the words, his eyes wide with horror. Swallowing, he extended a trembling hand.
“But he left this behind.”
Where do I even begin!
Creativity: I mean, let’s be real. Your creativity is always phenomenal! Your descriptions of the sphere were top notch. “Blue lightning raged from within the ball, sand particles stormed amidst its walls like a tornado.” I mean, just…wow. The visualization that paints is amazing! One of the things I really admire about your writing is that writing fantasy just seems to flow. I feel like you know what you’re doing, you have an idea and you just know how to execute it.
Voice: Prince Vikor was clear through the entire story. Nowhere in this did I feel like it was ‘cluttered’. Your dialogue was super crisp, making it just flow really well!
Character development: The fact that it’s never mentioned what Prince Vikor’s father looked like, doesn’t matter in this story; because what you’ve done is shown who he was just based on his behaviors and actions. Not only that, but Vikor’s personality comes through based on his actions too.
I don’t know if where exactly on the radar you think of writing (if it’s something you want to make into a career or keep it simply as a hobby) but I want to tell you, you’ve got natural writing talent. I don’t have any doubts that if you wanted to become a published author, you’d absolutely have dedicated readers enjoying your stories.