I take a deep breath, steady my nerves, and head towards the door at the end of the corridor. I don’t know what awaits me behind that door, the one that seems to get further with every step I take.

What will I find? Will I find the same man who I used to know? The one that I fell in love with? Or will I find an empty soul ready to depart from this world and the pain it possesses?

My hand freezes on the doorknob, shaking uncontrollably as I consider opening the door or turning back around.

I tightly shut my eyes, memories of the good times we shared flooding through my mind, overwhelming me so much that a flood of tears threatens to spill from my eyes.

Finally, I force my hand to turn the knob, pursing my lips and squinting my eyes in fear for what I might find behind the blank white door.

I see a man, laying almost lifeless on an eerily white bed, bright lights flickering above, the sound of beeps piercing my ears.

I see a green and red line dashing across a screen next to the bed forming low spikes across the screen.

His chest is barely moving up and down, his mouth gently relaxed closed. His eyes are open, but there seems to be no life left behind them.

What happened to the man who dove under the waves with me? The man who scaled mountains? The man who ran down the beach holding my hand?

He’s not there anymore. The man laying in that depressing hospital bed is not the same man that I fell in love with. He’s not the same man that I dreamed of day and night.

All that’s left is the memory of what used to be, and the emptiness awaiting me.

Suddenly, I don’t seem to feel. My emotions seem to be blocked off. It’s nothing that I’ve done, I can’t control it, I just can’t feel it anymore. There’s a type of eerie peace and guilt. I want to feel something, sadness and anger for what could’ve been. But I’m also thankful that I can’t, for I fear that it might be too much for me to bare on my own.

I snap out of my thoughts, staring at the screen as the green and red line turns flat, a long beep ringing throughout the room without stopping.