(**Warning**: this thing is kinda weird and just a thingy I’ve been stressing over.)

I lay down my head, tuck myself beneath my snuggly warm comforter, and close my eyes. My body is clean and lotioned with lush Japanese cherry blossom; making me smell like, or what one would say, a grandmother. My thick hair tucked into a bonnet. Now all that’s left is for me to sleep.

***

**Whatcha doing, baby?**

**Tryin’ to go to sleep?**

**Aww,**

**It’s funny that you think you can.**

What the hell?

First off, you are me

Why would you call me baby?

Second off, shut up before I take some pills.

_That’s a lie_

_You’re afraid of pills, and holes_

_And shots_

_And if your crush is asexual_

You too!

I _have_ to go to sleep

Right now!

I have a unit test tomorrow.

**But…**

**You could stay up all night**

**Thinking of Rayburn and Oswald**

**And their next sweet scene**

Tempting,

But no.

_Yes, you would rather_

_Stare at the ceiling_

_And think of “Honey Bear”_

_If she kissed y—_

ALRIGHT!

ALRIGHT!

Shut it!

Fuck OFF!

**Wow!**

**Feisty aren’t you?**

Stop talking,

Your making me uncomfortable

Why is your voice that low?

_Because you hate deep_

_DEEP voices…._

_But also high pitched ones._

_Why can’t you choose?_

And why can’t you let me go to sleep?

***

I feel a pair of hands tugging the comforter off of my head and tucking it to my chest.

“Goodnight, Hollow,” my mother kisses me on my head. She walks back out of my dark room, turning on the fan.

My wonderful Mummy.

“Night,” I mumble. I squeeze my eyes tighter and try to blank my mind. But what pops up is not sleep, it’s—

***

**Oh!**

**So you are horny!**

**I was close enough **

Oh my dear lord.

_Now, _

_What would Honey Bear say_

_If she saw what you were thinking?_

Shut UP!

**You say that an awful lot.**

Oh my god

OH MY GOD

_Oh look_

_It’s getting worse_

_Oh—OH_

**Wait, wait!**

**Let me see**

**…Hollow!**

**Haha! And you told your mum that you’re straight**

I am now!

She doesn’t like me back

She _can’t_ like me back!

_She never said that she_

Was

_Asexual, just that she_

Thought_ she was_

Same difference

**I say you kiss her hand!**

**That’s what you wanted to**

**Do before anyway**

**Oh, and hug her too, and—**

I get it,

I get it

But she’d probably just give me her confused smile and try not to disappoint me

I don’t want that

_But you haven’t tried_

I can’t

My step-father’s job is too important

My mother’s job is too important

And my stupid feelings will just get in the way

**Ah.**

_Oh._

Why are you so surprised?!

You’re me

You already know this!

**I dunno **

**You make us do this **

_Mh-hmm _

Will you let me go to sleep

Now?

**_Sure_**

Thank you.