No one truly understood the pull for what was in front of me. I had an insatiable hunger for it.

Was this an obsession? Or was this normal?

It didn’t make any sense. A pull for an object casually dismissed. I had been advised to visit doctors. Addiction wasn’t supposed to be normal. Not at all, I knew that. But going to a doctor meant excepting the fact that there was something wrong with me, and I wasn’t ready for that.

I guess, I could describe it as a drug. Something I had been drowned in. Something I needed. A desire forever accompanying my presence. Forever overshadowing me, and my thoughts.

Despite the harmful consequences I was well aware of, the compulsiveness to take the substance was incredible. I lost so much friends, money, my family. All to this stupid thing I was so drawn to. It made me perceive all of the faults in my life dismissible, which wasn’t right. It was mud in my eyes, a haze in my thoughts. And it wouldn’t leave.