I've never been a 'cool girl.'

I've never gone to parties,

never made routine plans to go out with friends.

I sit in my room,

read my books,

and escape the reality that makes me feel

crumpled,

tired,

hated.

I've never been a mean girl.

I've never told you that you overcompensate

with a laugh bubbling out of my lips,

proud of myself for the comeback.

I don't wear tight clothing,

knowing that there will be stares

in the hallways,

train rides,

or park days.

I've always just been a weird girl.

I used to suck the juice out of lemons,

loving the sourness

as it floats down my throat.

I used to be told I was

too nerdy,

too quiet,

too me.

The energy is nearly gone from me now.

I don't care what you think of me.

But I do.

I care.

I care so much that it nearly kills me

most days.

But I am certain of one thing:

I'm just me

and I don't mind if I'm not for you.