From as long as I can remember I was broken, forgotten and unseen,

From all the ones that were supposed to be there for me,

Dad always leaving me on the floor crying and bleeding,

From all the abuse and meaningless beatings,

My Mothers blank stare that continued without a care cut deeper than anything,

And my Brother and Sister we’re nothing but bitches always lying and deceiving,

So much for the love of a fucking family,

There was so much “love” in the air it could’ve been an award winning horror story,

It never really got better or worse pretty much just stayed the same,

Like these words that bleed from my memory staining this page,

The thoughts that follow me started driving me insane,

Turning my doubts and fears into lies that I was the one to blame,

My fears flowed through my tears as I lay awake at night in shame,

Wishing for love or a friend that never fucking came,

Crying myself to sleep every night sometimes wishing I was never born,

From the voices in my head that left me feeling lost and forlorn,

Turning into anxiety, PTSD, depression, and insomnia leaving behind pieces of my soul that’d been torn,

Distancing myself from everything was the only way I could learn,

To keep me away from my home under the earth,

The one place I felt that could give me what I need,

A place of darkness and emptiness a strange kind of peace,

Anything to help replace this undying misery that wouldn’t ever cease,

A quiet black hole forever alone sounded so serene,

At least that’s what the voices wanted me to believe,

That staying in this house would kill me and would never be my home,

Or that I’d be better off cold, dead and alone,

It had to be true right? For my heart had turned to stone,

That would become my headboard in the dirt nap that felt like a throne,

They lingered and creeped, saying I’d never be missed,

Taunting me and tricking me with the venomous words that they’d hiss,

Internally reflecting the hate and pain my family did inflict,

Always leaving me to wonder and reminisce,

With ask the thoughts in my head that still continue to stick like,

What the hell was the point in being born into a life filled with shit??

—TerrySalmon—