GIVE ME A LARGE ONE
Stepping into my local I couldn't believe the state my uncle was in.
Though , I would say he was quite in his rights to choose a bottle of whisky as his best friend.
After all it is not everyday your wife of only 1 day tells you she is soon to have a sex change op.
So standing next to him at the bar I did feel sorry for him.
And now after a good hour of telling me the sob story that I already knew ,
I at last managed to draw his attentions to eat something.
Silence filled the air as we tucked into our food and I prayed some of his bread would soak up the alcohol that flowed in his veins .
It seemed to be working.
That was until the subject for all of my uncles heartaches walked in.
And he was not amused .
I now watched in horror as he spat out a huge slither of turkey and as it landed onto his plate
he then reached across to my plate.
The cheeky bugger then grabbed my knife not my pie and chips .
I pleaded for him to see sense and put it down.
But all my efforts were in vain and so I took a step back as he waved it in the air at his wife standing before us.
She, Ignoring the unfriendly welcome
went on to say that she had come to join us for a drink as the he that she had now become, because why try to fit in when you are born to stand out.
The preaching continued that my uncle should get a grip and put the blunt knife down .
But how could things be the same as they had once been with her now standing here dressed as a man.
My uncle not impressed tried to strike her with the knife.
She too was not impressed and so soon had him in a headlock whilst shouting
” I am a man so I will fight like one”
I left them to it because I for one was not the type to get in the middle of a domestic .
So choosing to mind my own business I took a slow walk down the road to go do some shopping.
It was not long before my uncle was trying to get hold of me on my phone.
The call was short and to the point as he briefed that everything was now okay and he had only been upset because there had been a lot of guilt which had reached boiling point as it had not been easy trying to try to find a way to tell my aunty that he too was coming out of a closet.
I found myself walking into the nearest pub as he then told me they are going to be staying together,
her as he and him now as she .
Before the barman had a chance to speak I wailed
” Give me a large one! ”