you know those faint echoes of light
that hide behind closed eyelids,
extending the legacy of the bright
long after we’ve ceased to see it?
i want to be that for sunless souls —
a gentle, yet certain reminder of the golden,
elusive enough to make them open their eyes again
and realize that, though blinding,
it is worth it.
I love this. It echoes in my heart 💕
This is beautiful. Full of hope and purpose. I’ve always seen those “lights” and a nuisance, so to think about them positively was paradigm shifting. Empathetic.
As for pace, I have a minor suggestion. Since your first stanza is all one winding sentence, you may wish to parallel in your second. I would achieve this by replacing your period after “souls” with a dash. Then the one period in the whole piece would have a heavier meaning (in my opinion, this is nowhere near universal haha)
Your beginning and end are balanced, you travel from passive to purpose quite eloquently.
As for structure, it echoes my thought on pace :)
Hope this helps. You’ve certainly inspired me!
