I startled awake to the sensation of my head dropping toward my chest. I must have dozed off sitting at my desk. It wouldn’t be the first time these last few weeks, but I need to be careful. The snide remarks at the water cooler and in the lunch room tell me it’s becoming a frequent enough occurrence that my workmates are starting to notice - and talk.

It’s not really my fault. My call centre job is mind numbing at the best of times and I’ve had to start taking extra shifts to cover my ever increasing expenses. My habits might be my own business, but they don’t come cheap and trying to pay for them is making my daily unscheduled naps everyone else’s business now. Even the most good natured work mate will only cover for you so often when they’re having to make up for your shortfall when the monthly numbers get run.

Blinking my eyes back into focus, and swallowing to try to get some moisture back into my mouth, I glance aside to see if anyone’s noticed my little Power Nap.

I freeze. Okay so maybe I’m not awake after all. Instead of a grey cubicle wall I’m looking at a white wigged, frock coated gent sitting on a stiff backed wooden chair.

He leans towards me, concern creasing his features.

“Add you quite well, Mr Kant?” He whispers.

“Quite well, thank you” I reply, in a voice that sounds nothing like my own.

“Quite well? Mr Kant?” Wait - what now?

“ I believe the good gentlemen present are most eager to hear you speak, sir.” Says my new companion. “I’ve heard it said that one day your thoughts may change the world”.

His voice is cultured and his manners old fashioned to the point of sounding ridiculous to my ears.

Looking around further, I see men in the room dressed in what looks like fairly historically accurate period costume from the mid eighteenth century.

What the hell is happening? I don’t remember leaving work, let alone going to a costume party. What is he talking about? And why did he call me “Mr Kant?”

Now I’m feeling frantic as I take in more of my surroundings. It’s not just the clothing that’s from the seventeen hundreds. It’s the whole room.

Expensive, heavy looking wooden furniture. Thick velvet curtains.

And there’s a piano to one side of the room. Wait. Something’s off. That’s not a piano, although it looks a little bit like one.

Holy crap…is that….. a HARPSICHORD?!!!!

No, no, it can’t be. Those things weren’t common past….the eighteenth century.

Finally I look down at myself. I’m wearing a velvet coat. What looks like some type of knee length pants, stockings and…women’s shoes?!! Heels and a buckle on the front?

Oh god.

Frock coats.

Harpsichord.

Shoes with heels on men.

Mr Kant…

Oh dear sweet mother of god.

I think I might be Emmanuel Kant. At a party. And they’re waiting to hear what I have to say for myself..