It was all becoming real.

Do you believe in God? Not the first time I was asked that question Not the second either; “Do you believe in God?” Who wants to know? (it never seems to be me) I’m in the church. I woke up early, brushed my teeth, took a shower, threw the clothes I slept in in- to a laundry hamper, and I am here barely able to hold a breviary in my velcro-braced hand (a fall I took on a sheet of ice below scraggly grass days ago) Do I believe in God? Well, when I began to burn in the right hand, the shoulder, the ribs, the mysterious spot on the lung, all the flammables (Abba Joseph rose up, stretched out his hands, and his fingers became like ten lamps of fire. Why not become fire?) after too much typing, it was all becoming real.

Comments 12

Brittany

2 years ago

You should be a church youth counselor. You hit it and I think you’d be able to speak to relation…. If that makes sense!

Great job

2 years ago

Hi all,

A new revision of the poem I posted last week.

2 years ago

Thanks, Gabby, I now have a new version of the poem incorporating some of the things you said but also making some other major changings. Thank you for your help and feedback.

Desiree Joyce

2 years ago

This is a unique poem. I like it, however I’m left a touch bit confused. In my personal opinion, I see two different poems that could each be further explored. As I was re-reading this, an idea popped into my head.

What if you were to combine these two ideas you have? You’ve written about asking whether or not God exists, but you’ve also written about the burn in your hand and the ache in your body.

What if you were to continue writing about the burn in your hand and connect that to your personal belief on whether or not you believe God exists. (It would work both if you did, or didn’t.). Maybe come at it from the angle of “God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. This burn I feel in my hand will one day be the same burn I feel as I pursue this passion…(etc)”

Or you could flip it and word it without God, but write about how passionately you feel about writing and that this slip won’t stop you because it will all become real soon. (Or something similar to that).

The reason I suggest you writing it like that, is that it’ll create an intimate conversation both with yourself and with readers who read this.

Does that make sense?

Overall, this was a great piece and I did enjoy it! Keep up the great work! (I hope you have a speedy recovery).

2 years ago

This was a poem, I wrote right off the cuff from today’s prompt. Just when I was getting a rhythm back in trying to write daily, I took a pretty bad fall on some ice. My wrist is in a brace and I have two fractured ribs. I time my typing now so that I don’t overdo it and feel the regrets the next day. So, the above poem came from my current condition. The timer has just gone off on my iPhone. So I have to stop now.

JF

John Forbis is an Anglican Benedictine monk of the Order of the Holy Cross living and working at Holy Cross Monastery, West Park, New York. His poems have been published in South Africa, United States and the United Kingdom.