⚠️TW: explicit reference to disordered eating + reference to sh

My boxers and bra and the body I hate,

In loathing, I'll wallow till I take the bait:

I'll skip every meal till my stomach's on fire,

Do two-hundred sit-ups and never get tired,

Write poems to distract me from eating.

My ribs are all cracked and my lungs hurt to breathe,

And the girl in the mirror refuses to leave.

I'll smoke till I choke and forget how to eat;

I will swallow my pride and collapse to my feet

Till the toilet is sicker than I am.

I'll mark out the places I wish weren't the same,

I'll carve up my wrists and my thighs and my brain,

I'll stay up all night, 80 press-ups a day,

And never once feel like it's going away

'Cause they're all so much thinner than I am.

I won't shower for weeks so I don't have to see

I'm everything I never wanted to be.

I'll rot in my room till they force me to go,

Then I'll wander outside and I'll put on a show:

I'll pull down my sleeves and I'll grin with my teeth,

I'll strangle my secrets with laurels and wreaths,

I'll laugh and I'll tell them I don't feel the heat,

But when they're all hungry I'll stay in my seat.

I'll chew up my words and my cheeks and my tongue,

And pinch myself under the table.

They'll never suspect a thing.