I find the piece of paper shoved partway under one of our many bookshelves, grimy and creased. It’s one of the worksheets Vi put together (presumably still puts together) for her students to improve their writing and vocabulary: complete with cartoony clip-art of a sandy half-circle topped by a palm tree. I take it to the table and hunt around the flat until I have found a mechanical pencil that *also* belonged to Vi. Some of the lead in it is the wrong size (that would be my doing) and it takes me a few false starts to start writing. I immediately disregard the instruction at the top, in clear, large font: “Write in complete sentences and give reasons behind your choices. Example: I would bring an ultra-strength flashlight, so that I could signal for rescue and explore the island.”

I smile to myself at how practical and mature the example answer is. Vi doesn’t talk down to her students. It’s part of what makes her such a good teacher. She’s one of those (not as rare as you think) people whose dedication and inclination makes them heroes with or without being Powers.

I don’t write the first thing that comes to my mind. My sword. It’s on the list (it will always come with me, wherever I go), but I keep it in my head and just leave the section numbered 1 blank on the worksheet. It’s here, moving my pencil down to 2 where I pause to wonder why I’m bothering. Am I this desperate for even the most tenuous connection to Vi?

Yes, I decide. And start writing.

2. Large water receptacle.

3. Portable desalination filter (assuming island is marine)

4. Net for fishing? (Would have to research more. Presumably rations would count as one item per meal, takes up too many slots. Maybe bottle of protein powder. Make water = meals?)

Continued on back of page.

5. Medical kit (Does this count as one item or do I count everything in it? Otherwise: roll of bandaging)

6. Bottle of disinfectant (if not in med kit. Otherwise: Bottle of electrolyte powder)

7. Flare gun (again, flares count as individual items? If so: stuff to start a fire? Also more than one item?)

8. Satellite phone (this should have been first. I’m dumb. Ignore flare gun and give me extra batteries for this)

9. Wait, do I have to list clothes? Some sort of garment that gives protection from heat and cold and keeps the sun off. Do most medkits have sunscreen?

10. ______________________________

By the time I’m finished with the paper it’s a mess of strike-outs and asides. Many of my answers start out at my normal, moderately sized handwriting and grow increasingly cramped as I try to make them fit on the lines for the number they’re assigned to. Vi would probably have to mark this a complete failure. I stare at the blank line, a choking tightness in my throat.

10. You.

I erase it. The eraser is bad, mostly used up, and I almost tear the already abused paper. Then I write it again. More carefully.

10. You. Not that you’re an “item.” Or that I want you trapped on a deserted island. I just want to be together. Wherever we are. I want to face things with you. I am so lost without you. I’m sorry.

Love,

Reina.