I don’t want to stick out like a weed in a field of wildflowers.

I wish I knew how to bloom naturally, I wish my every move wasn’t calcualated.

I feel like I was born an alien, no idea of how to operate this machine of a body I inherited.

How do I fit in? How do I seem normal?

I am not okay I am not ordinary.

I see friends, strangers and acquaintances mixing and mingling and talking and it comes so naturally to them.

I follow along the girls moves and watch the way they hold themselves, move their hair, the words they say. And I imitate.

I imitate and imitate and imitate.

Finally i feel like a normal girl, a normal person.

I am friendly and i am outgoing and i am kind.

But i am not me.

I am still a weed in a field of wildflowers just disguised as a Lilly.