Blood stains my hands clasped over my chest. Bubbling cascades erupt from my neck, but I don’t feel a thing. I lay back, peaceful and ready.

The sun is rising. Steam gently mists from the grass and my chest, now deep red, soon to be brown. I won’t last much longer and I’m ready to sleep.

The women came and took my horse, my gun, and my suitcase. The one with the dark knives grinned as she slashed my throat and knocked me down. Pure meanness, she was, but I’m not mad. She was just doing what she thought she needed to, and maybe some other man hurt her.

I remember my mama back home, waiting for me to return with this horse, after our kin got baptized. I hope she doesn’t cry too much for me. Nothing I can do about it. Still, I think she’ll know somehow. Ma always had a way of knowing things happening to us long before we got word. Three of my brothers have passed before me. Looks like I’m the fourth.

It does make me sad I’ll never climb this mountain again, never draw the cool, clear water for my horse or chase a rabbit into the bush. The berries on yonder tree are the sweetest I’ve ever tasted. I’ll ever taste.

My life hasn’t been a bad one, I must confess. I never did mean to cause no one sorrow or pain. I tried to make people smile and laugh, clap their hands and forget they troubles. Like what my Daddy did.

The birds are singing now; I think I’ve heard this song before. Joyful, joyful we adore thee … that’s what it makes me think of. Ma said I had a beautiful singing voice. I don’t know if that’s true, but it made her happy when I sang, or read scripture, or say with her. I could do no wrong in her eyes.

Quiet footsteps rustle behind me, and a deer creeps the clearing. My breath’s coming in ragged gasps now, but I try and keep ‘em quiet so I don’t spook him. Majestic beast, like my dad used to say. No need to bother them, just let them be and enjoy the sight.

My vision is getting dimmer, though the sun is rising higher. It won’t be long now. I’ll see my Dad again, and my brothers. I’m sorry for my mama, that she’ll be lonely, but my sis Sue will keep her company.

Butterflies circle around me, doing a little dance. I’m not working so hard to breathe anymore. I feel like I’m floating.

The last gasps come out of me and I’m still. There’s nothing but the mountain and the morning now.